We recorded this episode just days before it airs, which means we’re talking about the holidays in real time.
Not the Pinterest version.
Not the matching-pajamas, perfectly-timed-dinner, everyone-gets-along version.
The real one.
If you’re already feeling a knot in your stomach thinking about family gatherings, schedules, expectations, or how you’re going to hold it all together this season, then this episode is for you.
Because here’s the truth:
The holidays don’t just add joy. They add pressure.
More people.
More plans.
More opinions.
More logistics.
More memories (good and hard).
And for so many moms, it brings up the same quiet question every year:
How do I stay connected…without it robbing my joy or burning myself out?
Let’s Start With a Reframe
One of the most important moments in this conversation came early, when Hannah reminded us of something simple—but powerful:
Most people are not trying to hurt you.
That seven-thirty dinner invitation?
The late-night gathering?
The unrealistic expectation?
It’s rarely malicious. Often it’s coming from people who haven’t had small kids in decades or who simply don’t live inside your daily reality.
Which means we’re left with a choice:
We can stew in resentment and dread…
Or we can communicate.
Not perfectly.
Not scripted.
Not “therapized.”
Just honestly.
Boundaries Aren’t About Pushing People Away
This episode gently dismantles one of the most misunderstood ideas in modern motherhood: boundaries.
Hannah said it best:
“A boundary is something we do to stay connected, not to cut people off.”
Read that again.
Boundaries aren’t punishments.
They’re clarifiers.
They’re not about controlling other people—they’re about being honest about what we can do.
A boundary sounds like:
“We’d love to come, but we need to leave by 6:30.”
“Five o’clock would work best for our kids—if not, we’ll still come and head out early.”
“This is what our family needs this year.”
No drama.
No moral high ground.
No ultimatums.
Just clarity.
And clarity, when offered with kindness, actually protects connection instead of eroding it.
When We Don’t Say Anything, Things Get Harder—Not Easier
One thread that kept resurfacing in this episode was avoidance.
Avoiding hard conversations.
Avoiding asking for what we need.
Avoiding saying something because “it’s not a big deal.”
Until…it is.
As Hannah shared, estrangement often doesn’t begin with one huge blow-up.
It starts with small, unspoken hurts that pile up over time.
And while not every situation needs confrontation, a helpful question is this:
Is this making me want to pull away?
If the answer is yes, it may be worth gently naming.
Not to create conflict but to prevent distance.
The Holidays Add More Than We Realize
Beyond family dynamics, the holidays also bring a massive increase in mental load:
School events
Performances
Parties
Gift-buying
Clothes for themed days
Social obligations
Endless “shoulds”
And social media doesn’t help.
It can feel like everyone else is:
✔ Doing everything
✔ Loving every minute
✔ Creating magical memories
Meanwhile, you’re just trying to survive December without snapping.
So we talked about permission.
Permission to:
Skip parties
Say no to traditions that don’t serve your family
Choose a few meaningful things instead of everything
Let “good enough” be good enough
One practical idea Hannah shared was sitting down as a family and deciding:
What actually matters to us this season?
Everything else is optional.
You’re Allowed to Do Christmas Your Way
This episode wasn’t about lowering standards—it was about choosing them on purpose.
It was about:
Planning ahead
Communicating early
Being on the same team as your partner
Naming triggers before you’re in the middle of them
Giving yourself grace when things aren’t perfect
And most importantly, remembering this:
There is no perfect family.
There is no conflict-free holiday.
There is only imperfect people doing their best.
A Gentle Reminder as You Head Into the Holidays
You don’t have to do everything.
You don’t have to please everyone.
You don’t have to explain yourself perfectly.
You do get to:
Ask for what you need
Protect your energy
Choose connection over performance
Assume the best about others—and yourself
If this season feels tender, heavy, or complicated—you are not behind.
You are human.
And you’re not alone.
Listen to the Full Episode
In this conversation, we cover:
How to communicate boundaries without sounding defensive
Why clarity actually builds connection
How avoidance creates more stress long-term
Practical ways to simplify the holidays
How to opt out without guilt
Why “fumbling” conversations are better than none at all
Resources for You
If you’re needing support beyond this episode, you can find all of our free resources here on GetMomReady.com including:
Everything is free, and everything is there to support you wherever you are in your motherhood journey.
From Holly Tate, Meredith Mayo, Hannah Castle, LCSW, & Anna Baker -
Merry Christmas!
May this season be honest, gentle, and just a little lighter than the last. 💛
