[Sunday Reset...on a Monday] Changing my mindset from "I have to" --> "I get to"
A reflection on one of my favorite art pieces in the thick of potty trainings and meltdowns.
It was my turn to write our Sunday reset this week.
On Saturday during nap time, I opened my laptop to write this…and then also opened 20 other tabs…and then woke up this morning realizing that I never finished and pressed publish.
So here we are on a Monday morning after a holiday weekend, reflecting on a mindset shift I’ve been thinking about for the last couple of months that has surfaced even more so in the thick of potty training.
This is one of my favorite art pieces from one of my favorite artists, Scott Erickson. Until the last few months, I’ve always reflected on this piece as it relates to building my business.
(If you love it, go buy it here from Scott’s website…or at the very least click through to see the rest of his incredible art.)
It’s Scott’s hand script of “I Get To” on top of Buffalo Trail: The Impending Storm by by Albert Bierstadt.
It reminds me that buffalo actually run into the storm rather than away from it. There are several hypotheses on why…some say it’s because it helps them control their paths…others say they are looking for food sources that are left behind after the storm.
Either way, it feels like the opposite of the human condition…my natural reaction is to run away from the storm, make it go away, or seek comfort or certainty when I see the storm coming. And this piece reminds me to lean into the hard things, face them straight on, and the beautiful resilience that comes by making it to the other side, which honestly comes more naturally to me in business but has been less natural for me in motherhood.
Which leads me to…potty training.
My daughter took the motions of potty training on her own pretty easily. For months now, she’s been independently sitting on the potty, wiping, flushing, etc. I thought, “Oh awesome, this will be easy!”
Until the last few weeks when she goes potty everywhere else and with anyone else but me and her dad. She goes at school, she goes at church, but when I walk in to pick her up from school…she goes in her underwear.
Sorry if this is all TMI and you’ve stopped reading by now, but for those of you who are still with me…
last week, while sitting on the floor of the bathroom for the upteenth time that day, feeling internally so annoyed that this is my life now, this painting came to mind.
I was annoyed because I was thinking, “I have to sit here, repeat myself a million times, only to be disappointed when there’s no pee pee in the potty.” or “I have to wash the load of 5 panties she peed through today.”
And in the moment, I thought, what if I shift my mindset from I have to —> I get to.
“I have to sit here on the floor waiting for her to go potty.” —> “I get to watch her learn and grow into an independent little girl.”
“I have to clean up after accidents on the floor.” —> “I get to show her that it’s okay to have accidents because we’re just learning together.”
“I have to change her clothes because she peed when I walked in the door.” —> I get to be her safe place where she can let her guard down.”
“I have to repeat myself for what feels like the one-millionth time about everything…” —> “I get to learn to be present, slow down, and practice patience in the midst of motherhood.”
If I’m not careful, I can beat myself up with shame about feeling annoyed because it took us five years to have Iris as a part of our family. It’s a weird juxtaposition to feel more grateful than you could ever imagine…and also be annoyed at this person staring up (or down) at you from the potty, learning to do hard things at the same time you’re learning, too. I’m reminded of the paradoxes of motherhood that we talked about with Ericka Graham on her podcast episode, “A Perfect Mom Would Not Be A Good Mom.”
I’m far from perfect, and it’s a daily exercise to shift my mindset to “I get to,” but we did have a win yesterday when she went pee pee in the potty with me at my friend’s house. Huge!
In that moment, I realized that the days are more fun when I’m viewing it through the lens of what I get to do versus what I have to do, realizing that the things I feel like “I have” to do are out of a place of immense privilege anyway.
So here’s my encouragement to us all on this wonky post-holiday week…how can we reset our minds by choosing one thing annoying us in our motherhood journey right now and shifting our mindset from “I have to” —> “I get to”?
Write it on a sticky, repeat it to yourself, do what you gotta do to practice that this week and see how it shifts things for you.
Let us know in the comments below!
And if you feel stuck in the whirlwind of motherhood and are looking for a coach or sounding board to sort through it all, reach out to our GetMomReady crew about coaching. We’d love to support you.