The Sunday Reset: Permission to Fill up our Cups
As I sit here during naptime, I’m reflecting on the past few weeks and upcoming few weeks. We are in the middle of summer and in the middle of my family’s trip up north. Both of our families live on the east coast, so every year we make the trip to visit them and attempt to visit friends along the way. This year we’ve spent this week in Annapolis, Maryland with David’s family and on Sunday we head up to my parents place in Connecticut to stay for the month of July. I’m looking forward to getting there where we can unpack our suitcases and feel settled for a bit !
I listened the the podcast in real time with you all since I wasn’t on this one and it was a fun experience. I found myself wanted to jump in at points so I’ll do that here, instead !
One thought I had was on the idea of permission and coordinating our schedules with our partners. I have a different point of view since my husband and I do ask each other’s permission to do something outside of the house. And hear me out, it’s not in the way you think. It’s not asking “am I allowed to do it?” but it is asking, “Does this work for our schedules?” We check in on Sunday each week, and I might say something like, “I have Mahjong on this night, does this work?” And he can double check his schedule and vice versa. His job is subject to change and meetings or travel can pop up last minute so we don’t have a calendar that is set in stone like others.
We do, however, have somethings on the schedule that are reoccurring. I run with friends on Saturday mornings and he has bible study on Thursday mornings. Those are things we know will happen and plan accordingly. It is also in our best interests that each of us is filled up separately because it makes up happier when we are all together! It also helps with the resentment not boiling over.
All to say, you get to find a communication style that works well with your relationship. It might be sending calendar invites at the beginning of the month. It might look like a weekly sit down to go over the schedule. Or it might look like a spontaneous conversation when you’re invited to something. You do you!
Speaking of conversations to reduce resentment. I noticed this week that when the girls were occupied, I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I realized that I was still feeding the girls, doing the dishes, and doing the laundry. My husband was reading, playing, and putzing around. I started to feel resentful about the way he was able to relax and I felt like I was just parenting in a different place. So what did I do? I asked him to help.
We switched on and off sleeping in, I asked him to switch over the laundry, etc. I did still feel like manager of “it’s time for them to eat lunch”, or “it’s time brush your teeth and go to bed”. But that’s a conversation for another day. I noticed something felt off and I changed the way I responded. I could have just gotten annoyed and stewed on my own, but who would that have helped? I wanted something to be different and so I asked for it.
This week we are heading into a week at my parent’s house together which will be the last week before he heads back to Texas.
My RESET this week will be to:
1. Find some ways to occupy myself that will ACTUALLY fill up my cup.
2. Ask for what I need or want.
Practice gratitude for what I have
I have a husband who works hard at what he does that allows us to spend this extra long time with our families. I have parents who welcome us with open arms and I have the sweetest girls who I get to spend the summers with.
Now what are you all reseting this week?