The Lost Art of Making Friends on your Street

Small steps to building big friendships right where you live

A few years ago, we moved into a new neighborhood that I knew had a lot of school-aged families in it. When we first arrived, we saw kids playing in front yards, riding bikes up and down the sidewalks. We even heard about a block party! My husband and I thought, “This is our dream!”

But as the weeks went on… we started to wonder where everyone went.

I took walks around the neighborhood to see who else was out. We had our friends from preschool and church, and we loved spending time with them—but I really wanted those “neighbor friends” you read about in books or see in movies.

So we started hanging out outside after dinner to say hi to anyone passing by. We did that awkward dance of: “How many times do you see someone before it’s okay to ask for their number?”

(Confession: I even drew a map of everyone’s homes and names so I’d remember them when we ran into each other. Embarrassing, but true!)

After about a year, I still wondered: Is everyone else hanging out without us?

Then I remembered something I once heard:

To make deep friendships, you have to need each other.
People feel close when they get to help.

So I opened the door—literally.

One night, I texted our next-door neighbor for a missing ingredient. It was simple, and I really did need it. I could’ve gone to the store, but instead, I asked for help.

And you know what? That one moment cracked everything open.

After that, we made a habit of asking our neighbors first when we needed something. We'd start chatting out front before dinner. Then we started making dinners together. That’s when the friendship really began to grow.

Since then, we’ve had cookie-decorating parties, block parties, front yard hangouts, pool parties, and many other get-togethers that continue to grow friendships in the neighborhood. We’ve joined group chats to ask for advice, share baby items, get plumbing recommendations, and more.

We’ve entered the neighborhood community.

And here’s what I’ve learned:

If we want friends, we have to go first.

We have to reach out.
We have to be vulnerable.
We can’t just wait around hoping someone will invite us.

Now more than ever, we’re lonely in our real-life friendships—because we’re over-connected online.

But friendship still starts the old-fashioned way: with small steps and simple gestures.

Just like we teach our kids the golden rule—treat others the way you want to be treated—we need to live it out too.

What building community can actually look like:

• Ask for someone’s number and set a specific time to hang out

• Plan a walk if you always see them out walking at a certain time

• Bring over cookies or a small treat

• Host a front yard hang (low-stakes and casual!)

• Invite a family over for dinner—keep it simple (our go-to is fajitas or tortilla soup)

• Offer popsicles after dinner for the neighborhood kids

• Ask for an ingredient (yes, really—it works!)

• Set a weekly walk or coffee date and invite someone new each time

What would you add?

How have you made friends in your neighborhood?
What helped you go from “friendly” to “friends”?

Drop your ideas in the comments—let’s learn from each other.