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In this episode, we started with the usual chaos: shirt compliments, color analysis, Top Chef, leftover tortellini bake, and the realization that our group chat probably really should be a podcast.
But the real conversation was about something so many moms feel, even if we don’t always say it out loud:
Why do we feel like we need permission?
Permission to leave the house. Permission to rest. Permission to ask for help. Permission to go out with friends. Permission to say, “I’m going to do this,” instead of, “Would it be okay if I…?”
We talked about the difference between asking for consideration and asking for permission, why moms often feel guilty when someone else has to step into the role we usually carry, and how hard it can be to rest when your kids are still in the house and still looking for you every three seconds.
We also talked about the sneaky resentment that can build when we keep telling ourselves, “I can do it,” instead of asking, “At what cost?”
Because yes, we can push through. We can keep carrying it. We can be strong enough.
But that doesn’t mean we should have to.
Permission vs. consideration
There’s a difference between giving your spouse a heads up and asking if you’re allowed to have a life.
A shared calendar? Helpful.
Saying, “Hey, I’m meeting the girls Tuesday night, let me know if there’s an issue”? Great.
Feeling like you have to justify why you need one hour to eat a burger, go on a walk, read a book, or sit in silence? That’s where we may need to pause.
What’s your version of golf balls?
We talked about how some people seem to naturally know how to decompress. Golf balls. Video games. A quiet drive. A workout.
And then there are moms who are standing in the kitchen thinking, “Wait, what is that for me?”
Not what is productive. Not what helps the house. Not what checks something off the list.
What actually restores you?
Resting at home is its own kind of hard
Sometimes we don’t want to leave. Sometimes we want to be home, near our kids, but not the person answering every single request.
We want to read the book. Take the bath. Eat the breakfast. Finish the thought.
And part of motherhood is slowly teaching our kids, and ourselves, that Mom’s needs matter too.
“I can do it” is not the same as “I should”
This one hit.
So many of us have built our lives around being capable. We can handle it. We can figure it out. We can keep going.
But if the cost is resentment, exhaustion, anger, or feeling like you’ve disappeared under everyone else’s needs, it may be time to ask a different question.
Not “Can I carry this?”
But “What is this costing me?”
This episode is for the mom who keeps waiting for permission, and maybe needs the reminder that needing rest, friendship, space, help, or a minute to eat her own breakfast does not make her selfish.
It makes her human.
For the practical mom
If you found yourself nodding along, start here. These are the questions we’re taking with us:
Where in my life am I asking for permission when I really just need to communicate with consideration?
Am I inviting people into my decisions because I value their input, or because I need reassurance?
What is my version of hitting golf balls, playing video games, or a quiet walk?
Where am I saying, “I can do it,” when the better question might be, “At what cost?”
What belief about myself is keeping me from asking for what I need?
What is one small way I can teach my family that Mom’s needs matter too?
And maybe the gentlest one of all:
What would it look like this week to stop waiting for permission and start practicing partnership?
Want help practicing this in real life?
If this stirred something up and you’re realizing you may need support untangling the guilt, the resentment, or the “I can just do it” pattern, that’s exactly the kind of thing we work through in coaching.
You can learn more about coaching by booking a call with Meredith or send us a DM on Instagram @getmomready.
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