More Than Crumbs: Rethinking Friendship in Modern Motherhood

Meredith said on the podcast this week :

It’s like we’re just getting the crumbs from our friends in this season of Motherhood

We talked on the podcast about friendship and how, these days, it’s normal in motherhood to feel like you’re getting and giving crumbs to each other because we are all in a tough season. Our resources go to our kids, our spouses, our homes, or our work—and then, lastly, to friends and extended family.

I made a comment that I want more for us. I don’t think we just deserve crumbs! What if we were able to weave friendship into the other things that we value?

For example, if giving your kids fun experiences is a value, invite your friend and her kids to the zoo. If spending time at home with your kids is a value, invite friends over for an easy dinner and let the kids run wild outside. If exercise is a value, invite your friend for a walk (or even walk and talk on the phone together!). I have even heard of people inviting their friends to grocery shop together. You could find ways to work together, too (maybe even start a podcast!). If possible, I will also always encourage mothers to find other mothers in their neighborhood. Being able to walk out your door and down your street to see friends is life-changing. Seriously.

While it might feel like prioritizing friendships is adding one more thing to your plate, it gives back tenfold. You will` always feel better after spending time with a good friend.

Now we can ask: Who are your good friends? Are they giving you energy or draining it? Are they cheering you on? Are they supportive? Are they someone you want to call and talk to? Are they there for you when things are hard? Are they good listeners? Do you have fun together?

How can you be a good friend? When your friend comes to you with an issue, you can ask if they’d like you just to listen, validate, or if they want advice. This helps them feel seen and builds your relationship.

Remember: friendships take time to develop, and they evolve over time. There are women I was very close to when my kids were little, and through moves and different schools, we aren’t as close anymore. That doesn’t mean I didn’t cherish the years we spent together. And it doesn’t mean that anything happened to ruin the friendship. Friendships simply evolve.

I think it’s safe to say we love and value friends over here at Get Mom Ready. If this article made you feel like you want to up your game in the friend department, we’d love to help! Don’t hesitate to reach out for coaching.