How to Overcome Text Fatigue in Stressful Seasons
3 burdens a friend can take off your plate when you're at capacity.
Hey moms—let’s talk about text fatigue for a minute.
We’ve all been there—you wake up to 20 unread texts, but parenting duty calls. You get lost in work and realize you haven’t responded to that friend in over a week. You keep a running mental list of new moms and struggling friends you want to check in on, but the busyness of life always seems to win.
It’s no wonder our friends over at Big Little Feelings started a Substack called Sorry I Didn’t Text You Back. In today’s technology-connected world, keeping up with constant notifications and conversations can feel like a full-time job. And when you add in a hospital stay or medical situation with your child? The exhaustion is next-level.
Here’s the thing: one of the greatest gifts of community is being surrounded by love. But sometimes, even the outpouring of support can feel overwhelming. You finally get a small break from worrying or researching, and suddenly your phone lights up with 50 texts: How are you doing? Any updates? What can we do to help?
I’ll admit—this has been one of my biggest struggles. I’m not someone who leaves people on read. But I also didn’t know how to tell people I wasn’t okay. I needed so much, but I couldn’t even explain what it was. And to be honest, explaining my daughter’s medical situation felt impossible—it was so complex, changing hour by hour, that I was afraid to even give an update.
That’s where having a communication advocate changed everything.
A communication advocate is someone close enough to you that you’re already sharing every detail of your child’s journey with them—and who can then relay information to everyone else.
For me, that person was my sister. She was frequently in the hospital with me, knew every detail of my daughter’s journey, and carried my heart in it too. She also happens to be a wildly eloquent and compassionate communicator. Honestly, it was the greatest gift she could give me. And to put it in perspective—she was driving four hours to and from the hospital, staying with me three or four days every week. That’s the kind of sacrificial love I’ll never forget.
Here are a few practical ways she (and a few close friends) supported me:
By the way, these tips aren’t just about moms with kids in medical situations. Having a “communication advocate” can be a lifeline when you’re caretaking for a loved one, walking through a crisis, or simply navigating a season of overwhelm and overstimulation.
1. Communicating My Needs
We were in the hospital so long that we couldn’t keep up our spending habit of getting every meal delivered. When people asked what we needed and how they could help, she asked people to send us DoorDash gift cards or come drop off a meal at the front desk—something that felt awkward for me to ask for myself.
She also set up a simple system for people to send healthy snacks. Friends shipped them to her house, and she’d haul bags of goodies to the hospital. Having real food on hand—protein bars, fruit, and a few guilty pleasures—kept us nourished and sane in a season when hospital cafeteria food was the last thing we wanted. Talk about above and beyond.
She let friends and extended family know that I couldn’t have visitors in the room and didn’t want to leave Emmie long enough to go visit with people (not to mention, I was too drained to socialize). Walking out of Emmie’s hospital room meant risking missing an update from a doctor or not being there when she needed me most. Having someone else relay that information was extremely helpful when I feared I was letting friends down.
My best friend also stepped in to post daily prayers on Instagram, sharing the raw details of Emmie’s situation. It helped us spread the word and gave me a way to simply share her posts instead of having to write my own while navigating so many emotions.
2. Sending Updates
Getting a CaringBridge account set up was irreplaceable. You can check out my daughter, Emmie’s Caring Bridge here. I never had to think about writing another update again because I could just share the link my sister posted.
My sister kept a constant draft of notes that I shared with her, and she would post when big things happened.
In the darkest times—when there were no improvements or changes for days—my sister still posted, so I didn’t have to find words when my heart couldn’t.
Pro tip: for close family and friends, use a shared Apple Note or Google Doc. It keeps everyone on the same page, reduces repeated questions, and frees up the mom in the middle to breathe. (Thanks for this tip Hannah Castle, LCSW!)
3. Answering Calls and Messages
She fielded texts and phone calls when I felt guilty for sounding negative after answering the hundredth “how are you doing” message.
Somehow, it always felt better coming from her—people got the information they needed, and I got to rest without feeling like I’d let anyone down.
Even after we left the hospital, having my sister handle updates for a while gave me space to settle into a new rhythm. A communication advocate isn’t just for the crisis moments—it can carry you through recovery too.
If you’re walking through a season like this, I can’t recommend a communication advocate enough. It doesn’t have to be a sibling—maybe it’s your best friend, your spouse, or a trusted parent. Whoever it is, give them permission to carry that communication load for you. When considering who this person could be for you, think of:
Someone you already share details with
Someone who communicates clearly and kindly
Someone dependable (won’t let messages pile up)
Someone willing to be honest about your limits
And if you’re the family or friend looking for ways to help? Offer to step in as that person. You’ll never know what a relief it can be.
Because moms, you don’t have to do it all—embrace your community. It’s what they’re for.