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What if the thing making motherhood feel so hard… isn’t just the workload?
What if part of the exhaustion is coming from spending your energy on things you don’t actually value, but feel like you’re supposed to?
Anna came in with a simple question:
“How do I figure out my values in motherhood?”
Not in a fluffy way.
In a “my days feel chaotic and I’m barely keeping up” kind of way.
What unfolded is a conversation every mom needs about misalignment, mental load, and the things we’re doing just because we think we should.
The real problem (that no one tells you)
You might not be overwhelmed because you’re doing too much.
You might be overwhelmed because: you’re doing things that aren’t actually important to you, but you feel like they should be.
And that gap? That’s where burnout lives.
The example we couldn’t stop coming back to: DINNER
Meal planning. Grocery shopping. Cooking. Cleaning. Repeating.
Anna said what we’re all thinking:
“I have a system for meal planning and prep… and I still hate doing it.”
And that’s the tension:
The system works
But it’s built around something she doesn’t actually value
So instead of asking:
“How do I get better at this?”
We asked:
“Do you even want to keep doing this?”
What we uncovered (aka the actually helpful part)
1. Start with what you don’t value
Anna realized:
Home-cooked meals every night? Not it for her
Eating together / eating nutritious meals / quality time? Yes
That shift matters.
Because when you stop forcing what isn’t yours,
you finally have space for what is.
2. Systems don’t fix misalignment
You can optimize your routine all day long, but if it’s built around obligation, you will still feel exhausted.
Alignment first. Systems second.
3. You’re not just low on time, you’re low on energy
Some things don’t just take time…
They take so much mental and emotional energy:
decision fatigue
guilt
resentment
And when your day is full of those things?
Of course you feel maxed out.
Try this instead of spiraling: get curious
Instead of:
“Why can’t I just do this like everyone else?”
Try:
“Hmm… where did I learn that this matters? Who’s voice am I listening to? How can I find what matters to me and focus more on doing that well?”
That one question can unravel a LOT.
4. You might be discovering yourself for the first time
Some moms feel like they just want to get back to “their old selves,” you know, pre-kids. And some of us feel like we never even figured out who we were in the first place.
what we like
what we value
what we want
And honestly? That’s allowed to take time.
5. The simplest test: do you clench or exhale?
When you imagine not doing “the thing”…
Do you feel tight, stressed, resistant? → 🚩
Or do you feel relief, space, ease? → 👀
That exhale? That’s data. Recognize it and start figuring out what does bring you joy if you want to start prioritizing your life around your values.
Of course, there are some jobs in life we just have to do, but for the most part, we get to decide what we pursue, what we spend energy on, and how we do those things to maximize joy in the process.
Okay but what do I DO with this?
We didn’t just stay theoretical. Here’s where this lands practically:
If dinner is draining you:
Try meal delivery for a season
Use pre-made grocery options
Repeat meals you already know work
Lower the bar (a lot)
Or outsource where you can
And most importantly, take the time to learn what does put food on the table in a life-giving way for YOU.
Because maybe your value isn’t cooking from scratch.
Maybe it’s having energy left at the end of the day or enjoying time with your family.
If this episode felt a little too relatable…
If you’re:
constantly overwhelmed by decisions
doing things out of guilt
unsure what actually matters to you anymore
You don’t need another hack.
You need:
space to think
someone to process with
permission to do things differently
That’s what coaching is for.
You can book a call with Hannah or Meredith here.
Links & things we mentioned
The blow dryer/shark-airwrap situation… if you know, you know. We were influenced in real time 😂
If you want to go deeper on the time vs. energy conversation, revisit the Jennifer Sise episode. It pairs perfectly with this one and will reframe how you think about capacity.
If this episode stirred up identity questions like “what do I even like anymore?”, the Priscila Smith episode is a must-listen. It’s one of our best conversations on rediscovering yourself and your style.
When Meredith referenced looking at finances before outsourcing meals, that came from the Becca Gonzalez episode - super practical if you’re trying to make changes without blowing your budget.
The book True to You came up as a next step if you want to go deeper on identity, boundaries, and understanding your own patterns in relationships.
For our Houston moms, Tres Market is one of those “this could save dinner this week” places! Great prepared meals you can grab and be done.
Julie Barnes’ meal planning system is a practical solution if you like structure but hate the decision-making. Think: pre-built grocery lists + less Pinterest spiraling.
And of course, everything we create (podcasts, weekly resources, coaching) lives at Getmomready.com
And yes…HelloFresh, if you’re reading this…we are ready for a partnership.🤝
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