A Guide to Principled Living
Questions to ask yourself when you're feeling lost or misaligned in Motherhood
First off, What is principled living?
Meredith shared in our podcast episode that principled living means you are operating from a strong sense of self and are confident in your values. These days, it feels like there is so much noise on the internet about how to mother “the right way.” Everywhere you look, someone claims to have the perfect method. When you’re constantly hearing conflicting advice, it can create doubt in yourself and in the decisions you make.
For example, there are so many ways women can work while being mothers. When you see someone doing it differently than you, you might start to question whether you’re doing it the “right” way. What we want for you is confidence in your own choices. We want to see you create and thrive in a life that aligns with your values and fits your family. Every family is different—and therefore, every life will look different. We were made to be unique!
Now you might be wondering, Okay, Hannah, I’d like to have a strong sense of self. I’d like to live my motherhood through my values. But how? Great question! I’d love to offer you some prompts you can use to define what’s important to you in this current stage of life. Keep in mind that values can come from your upbringing, religion, or spiritual beliefs as well.
Grab a journal, a blank sheet of paper, or your notes app, and let’s start brainstorming.
What truly matters to me?
What am I most proud of in my life so far—and why?
What qualities do I admire most in others?
What traits or principles do I try to live by every day?
When do I feel most like myself?
When do I feel strongly—angry, joyful, fulfilled, or hurt?
What makes me angry or frustrated easily? What value might be getting stepped on?
When do I feel deeply fulfilled or joyful? What am I doing in those moments?
When have I felt disappointed in myself—and what does that reveal about what I care about?
What behaviors in others make me uncomfortable or upset—and why?
How do I make big decisions?
What guides me when I face a tough choice?
Have I ever said no to something even though it was “a good opportunity”? Why?
Do I prioritize security, freedom, creativity, connection, achievement, etc.?
What are the non-negotiables in how I live my life?
How do I spend my time, energy, and resources?
Where does my time naturally go when I’m not obligated?
What do I make space for—even when life is busy?
What do I willingly sacrifice for others?
What would I fight to protect or defend?
Who am I becoming—and who do I want to be?
Who are my role models, and what do they stand for?
What kind of life do I want to lead—and what values would make that life feel meaningful?
If everything else was stripped away—career, titles, possessions—what would still define me?
Identity & Intentions
When my child thinks of “Mom,” what do I hope comes to their mind?
What kind of presence do I want to be in my child’s life—comforting, inspiring, fun, calm, strong?
What do I want to model for my child just by the way I live and behave?
How do I want motherhood to fit into the bigger picture of my identity?
Emotional Connection
How do I want my child to feel when they’re with me?
What kind of emotional environment do I want to create at home?
How will I show love and affection? Do I want to be physically affectionate, verbally affirming, always available to listen, etc.?
During Hard Moments
What kind of mother do I want to be when things are hard—when my child is struggling, or when I am?
How do I want to respond to conflict, disobedience, or emotional outbursts?
What do I want my child to remember about how I handled stress or mistakes?
Self-Compassion & Boundaries
What do I need to feel fulfilled as a mother without losing myself?
How can I take care of my own emotional and physical needs while showing up for my child?
What fears do I have about becoming a mother, and what values can help guide me through them?
While I know you might see these questions and feel overwhelmed about how to answer them all — I get it! Start slowly. Pick one from each category. Talk to your partner about them. Talk to your family. Reflect on your own childhood: keep the pieces you want to carry forward, and leave the rest behind. Just begin the process of reflecting.
As you start asking and answering these questions, you’ll move closer to living with intention and values within motherhood. You’ll begin to notice patterns — what truly matters to you and how you want to show up each day. This clarity will make decision-making easier and help you live from a more confident, grounded sense of self. If you’re feeling stuck or want support, feel free to reach out to any of the moms in Get Mom Ready for one-on-one coaching.