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The Life You Were Dreaming About

This week, we got to talk with writer, consultant, and working mom Hilary Sutton, and the whole conversation kept coming back to one question:

What did you really want before life got so loud?

The dream list from 14 years ago

Hilary recently found a list of dreams she had written 14 years ago, before marriage, before kids, before so many of the responsibilities that now fill her days.

And the beautiful thing was that the list wasn’t full of job titles or income goals or some hyper-specific version of success.

It was about building a life.

A home. A safe place for her kids. A family that felt loved. Creative work. Meaningful work. Vacations. Church. Living near people she loves.

You can read Hilary’s full piece here (warning, you’ll want to start journaling your own reflections and dreams after readying it!) : I found a list of dreams I made 14 years ago.

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Maybe you’re not behind

For the moms who are wired to keep moving, keep building, keep improving, keep asking what’s next, it can be hard to stop long enough to notice what’s already here.

Hilary described herself as someone who is always thinking ahead.

There is always another thing to do, another version of ourselves we’re trying to become, another goal that feels like it should already be further along.

But sometimes looking back gives us a better reality check than looking forward.

Maybe the life you’re living right now has pieces of the life you used to dream about. Maybe the ordinary things that feel so heavy in this season are also evidence of prayers answered, work invested, and dreams slowly taking shape.

Not perfectly and not without chaos, but still very much happening.

The middle years are loud

One thing said in the conversation really stuck with us: in these middle years, it’s easy to forget what we really want because there are so many tiny responsibilities that actually do matter.

The mortgage matters. The camp schedule matters. The food on the table matters. The work deadlines matter. The kids’ hearts matter.

It ALL matters.

But when everything matters, it can be hard to remember what matters most.

That’s why this conversation was an important invitation to pause for a second and ask:

• What am I actually building here?

• What do I want this season to feel like?

• What am I trying to protect, not just produce?

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Imagination is not just for our kids

We also talked about imagination, and not in a Pinterest-perfect playroom kind of way.

Hilary shared that when kids feel safe, they are free to dream, play, create, and imagine. And that felt like one of those parenting truths that also applies to us.

When we feel safe, we can dream too.

When we’re not constantly bracing, proving, managing, and over-functioning, we can remember that the future is not just a list of responsibilities. It can still hold possibility.

And sometimes, the most grounded thing we can do as moms is make space to imagine again.

Listen to the full conversation

In this episode, we talk with Hilary Sutton about working motherhood, planning without trying to control everything, choosing what deserves your yes, raising imaginative kids, and remembering that this season is not a reflection of your worth as a mom.

You can follow Hilary’s writing on The Motherload, where she writes about work, motherhood, creativity, and the honest middle of it all.

For the mom asking, “What do I actually want?”

If this episode stirred something in you, especially around what you really want in this season of motherhood, we’d love to support you.

Get Mom Ready coaching is for the mom who is carrying a lot and needs space to sort through what’s working, what’s not, and what she actually needs next.

You can learn more about coaching by booking a call with Meredith or send us a DM on Instagram @getmomready.

Subscribe so you don’t miss an episode:

Apple | Spotify | GetMomReady.com

Apple | Spotify | GetMomReady.com

You know that feeling when your work brain is carrying layoffs, strategy shifts, inbox fires, team decisions, and approximately 47 tabs of pressure…and then you’re supposed to close your laptop and immediately become the calm, joyful bedtime mom?

Same.

In this episode, Holly sits down with Lindsey Swedick, a startup executive, brand marketer, and mom of two, for a conversation about work, motherhood, burnout, identity, marriage, and the strange emotional whiplash of leading at work and leading at home.

Lindsey’s career has taken her from an anti-trafficking NGO in India to brands like FEED, LOLA, Coterie, Calibrate, and now Perelel Health. But this conversation isn’t just about an impressive resume. It’s about what happens when your work has always been tied to purpose, and then motherhood changes the way you understand ambition, capacity, and what actually matters.

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When the Work That Once Lit You Up Starts Burning You Out

Lindsey shared about the season that finally pushed her to step away from corporate life and start consulting.

It wasn’t because she stopped loving work. It was because the pace, pressure, constant pivots, and emotional weight of leadership became too much.

She was leading brand and communications during a volatile season, navigating layoffs, shifting market demands, and internal messaging while also raising two little kids. And somewhere in the middle of all of that, the spark that had always driven her work started to fade.

That part felt so relatable.

Because sometimes burnout doesn’t look like quitting on your ambition. Sometimes it looks like realizing you can’t keep giving every part of yourself to a job and still have anything left for your actual life.

You Can Try Something New Without It Being Forever

One of the most refreshing parts of Lindsey’s story was how she talked about career pivots.

Earlier in her career, every move felt massive. Like each decision was somehow deciding the entire rest of her life.

But with time, motherhood, and a few hard seasons behind her, she started to see it differently.

You can try something.
You can change your mind.
You can do something for six months and reassess.
You can make a move because it’s what you need for this season, not because it has to define every season after it.

Honestly, that feels like a word for so many moms who are trying to figure out what work is supposed to look like now.

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This Is Just a Hard Season

When Holly asked Lindsey what she does differently now as a working mom, Lindsey didn’t offer a perfect six-step system or a magical productivity hack.

She said it’s more of a mental reframe.

This is a hard season.

Not forever. Not her whole identity. Not proof that she’s failing.

Just a hard season.

And whew. That’ll preach.

Because some days you feel like you’re failing as a mom, a leader, a wife, a friend, and a human person who would maybe enjoy drinking water at some point. And then the next day, you feel like maybe you’re doing okay.

Both can be true.

The season can be hard, and you can still be doing a really good job.

Your Job Is Not Your Whole Identity

Lindsey also named something that so many high-achieving moms know deep down but still have to relearn over and over again:

It’s just a job.

That doesn’t mean the work doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. It doesn’t mean you don’t give your best.

But it does mean your company is not your identity.

Your performance review is not your worth.
Your title is not your whole story.
The thing keeping you up tonight probably won’t be the thing you remember in ten years.

Motherhood has a way of forcing that reordering. Not because work stops mattering, but because suddenly your life is bigger than what happens in a meeting.

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The Sunday Meeting That Might Save Your Week

One of the most practical takeaways from this episode was Lindsey and her husband Nick’s Sunday night meeting.

After the kids go to bed, they sit down with calendars, laptops, mail, invites, schedules, and anything else they need to sort through. They talk through the week ahead, the month ahead, and even the next six months.

They also use that time to talk about their kids, family rhythms, childcare, school, work travel, and anything that could otherwise become resentment by Thursday.

Is this wildly glamorous? No.

Could snacks improve it? Absolutely.

But the point is this: they have a rhythm that helps them enter Monday with less chaos and fewer assumptions.

And for moms, fewer assumptions can be a love language.

Maybe It’s Not Mom Guilt

This was one of the biggest moments in the conversation.

Lindsey shared a reframe she heard from Dr. Becky: guilt is when your actions don’t align with your values.

So when we call everything “mom guilt,” it’s worth pausing to ask: is this actually guilt?

Because for Lindsey, working hard, leading well, and modeling ambition for her kids does align with her values. She wants her kids to see a mom who can do hard things, lead in business, and lead in her family.

So maybe the feeling isn’t guilt.

Maybe it’s stress.
Maybe it’s exhaustion.
Maybe it’s anxiety.
Maybe it’s sadness.
Maybe it’s taking on emotions that were never yours to carry.

That distinction matters.

Because if something aligns with your values, you may not need to shame yourself for it. You may just need to name what you’re actually feeling and give yourself a little compassion.

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You’re Not the Only One Holding Two Worlds

There’s a loneliness that can come with being a mom in leadership.

You can make big decisions all day, carry the emotional weight of your team, disagree with a decision and still have to execute it, write the layoff messaging, lead with confidence, and then somehow be expected to walk into bath time like your nervous system is totally fine.

It’s a lot.

And sometimes, it feels like no one fully understands the pressure of both worlds.

But that’s part of why this conversation matters.

Because if you’ve ever closed your laptop and thought, “No one will ever know how hard this day was,” this episode is your reminder:

You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re not the only one.
And you really are doing something impressive.

One day at a time.

Links from This Episode

Connect with Lindsey Swedick on LinkedIn.

Learn more about Perelel Health or follow along on Instagram.

Check out Perelel’s Summer Glo hydration powder and protein powder, both mentioned in this episode.

Subscribe to Get Mom Ready at GetMomReady.com so you never miss an episode or our Sunday Reset, our newsletter helping you avoid the Sunday Scaries and start the week fresh instead.

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If You’re in a Season of Burnout

If this conversation hit close to home and you’re in a season of burnout, overwhelm, or “I cannot keep doing it like this,” you don’t have to sort through it alone.

Get Mom Ready coaching is here to help you take a breath, name what’s actually going on, and figure out what support, boundaries, or next steps might help you move forward with more clarity.

You can learn more about coaching by booking a call with Meredith or send us a DM on Instagram @getmomready.

Explore Coaching

Subscribe so you don’t miss an episode:

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This week’s episode with made me think about my skin.

Which is funny because, historically, I am not what you would call a skincare person.

I like the idea of being a skincare person and having a calming little nighttime routine with steps and products and intention.

But in reality, my skincare routine is very minimalist: occasional eye patches, a charcoal mask when I remember I own one, moisturizer if it’s sitting directly in front of me, and calling it good.

Then Sam came on the podcast and talked about skincare like it was not just another beauty thing, but a way she pays attention to herself, a way she cares for the skin she is living in every day.

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And it made me realize I like the idea of taking good care of myself. I really do. But sometimes the gap between what sounds good and what actually happens is wide. Not because I don’t care, but because I’m tired. Because somebody needs something. Because the evening disappears. Because by the time the house is quiet, I am less “wellness routine” and more “please nobody speak to me.”

I don’t think Sam’s episode made me want to add a bunch of new tasks to my life and become a 12-step skincare person overnight.

But for me, the reset that happened was:

1. What are the ways I can integrate a few more ways to take care of myself without it feeling like another thing I need to check off the list?

2. Appreciating the ways I already take care of myself that feel small, but also bring joy. For some, it’s skincare, for me, it’s things like:

• Keeping a full water jug next to me at all times.

• Morning walks outside.

• Eye patches while doing nighttime routine with my daughter.

• Using my walking pad while checking email.

• Stretching while we watch a show.

• Reading before bed so my brain slows down.

The fun part about hearing stories from other moms is realizing we all have different ways of slowing down and caring for our bodies. Sometimes we learn a new tip. Sometimes we borrow a rhythm that works for someone else. And sometimes we simply realize we’re already caring for ourselves in small ways that count.

If you are a skincare fan and want Sam’s actual routine, we linked everything she mentioned (with a few promo codes) in this week’s show notes for you!

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For the mom who was told she could have it all

You know that feeling when you technically have a great life, a good job, a flexible setup, a supportive partner, healthy kids, and you’re still staring at the ceiling thinking, “Wait… why does this still feel so impossible?”

This week, Holly and Anna sat down with Sam Storz, a corporate working mom, content creator, Bravo girlie, and the kind of person who makes you feel like you’re texting a friend from the school pickup line.

Sam shared so honestly about her path to motherhood, including an unexpected pregnancy, a missed miscarriage, the anxiety of pregnancy after loss, and the way motherhood changed what she thought she wanted from her career, her time, and her life.

And whew. This one is for the moms who were raised to hustle, achieve, earn, build, prove, provide, and then became moms and thought…

“Okay, but what if I don’t want to give my whole life to work anymore?”

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When work still matters, but it’s not first anymore

Sam said something that felt so familiar: she is still a high performer. She still cares about doing excellent work. She still wants to show up well.

But motherhood shifted the order.

Now, she wants to do the best job she can as a mom first, and work comes behind that.

That doesn’t mean work is meaningless. It doesn’t mean ambition disappeared. It just means the old “grind at all costs” version of success does not fit the same way anymore.

And for a lot of moms, especially moms who have built careers and carry real financial responsibility for their families, that shift can feel complicated. Because it’s not always as simple as “just quit your job.” Sometimes you love parts of your work. Sometimes your family needs your income. Sometimes both things are true at the same time.

The math does not math

One of the biggest themes of this conversation was the impossible equation so many working moms are trying to solve.

Morning shift with the kids.
Work shift during the day.
Evening shift with dinner, baths, bedtime, tantrums, lunches, laundry, and the 37 tiny tasks nobody sees.

And then maybe, if the stars align, one hour at night to sit with your husband, text a friend back, or watch something on Bravo that requires absolutely zero brain cells.

Sam put words to what so many moms are feeling:

We were told we could have it all, but nobody really explained that we might not be able to have it all at the exact same time, at the exact same intensity, without burning out.

Yeah, the math does not math.

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The village is not optional

Sam talked about how much she depends on mom friends in the same season and moms a season or two ahead.

Because sometimes you need someone to say, “This won’t last forever.”

And sometimes you need someone to say, “No, you’re right. This phase is actually insane.”

Motherhood can feel weirdly isolating even when you have friends, because everyone is also drowning in their own daycare drop-offs, potty training attempts, work calls, bedtime battles, and snack negotiations. That’s why community matters so much. Not because it magically fixes everything, but because it reminds you that you are not failing. You are human. You are carrying a lot. And you were never meant to do this alone.

Work flexibility is not a perk, it’s survival

The recruiter in Sam came out in the best way when she reminded moms that interviews go both ways.

Yes, you are being interviewed by a company. But you are also interviewing them.

If you are in a season where kids get sick, daycare closes, appointments pop up, and life refuses to operate on a clean calendar, flexibility is not some cute little bonus. It is survival.

Sam’s encouragement to working moms: know your worth. Moms are already project managing entire households while showing up at work. That kind of capacity, adaptability, and problem-solving matters.

And if a workplace cannot understand that, it is fair to ask whether that workplace can actually support the life you are living right now.

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We can love our kids and still need a minute

This conversation also got into the very real, very unfiltered parts of motherhood: potty training, crib climbing, big boy beds, bedtime chaos, daycare drop-offs, and the kind of mental load that makes you want to scream when someone says, “Just tell me what you need me to do.”

Because yes, we love our people.

And also, sometimes we do not want to be the household project manager, bedtime negotiator, snack coordinator, emotional thermostat, laundry tracker, and keeper of all invisible things.

Sam and her husband don’t have a perfect chart or monthly family meeting system. They communicate as they go, try to pick up the slack for each other, and keep naming what’s hard before resentment has time to build a second home in the living room.

Which feels refreshingly realistic.

A few things we loved from Sam

Sam reminded us that this season is not forever, even when it feels never-ending.

She reminded us that asking for help is not failure.

She reminded us that you can be a great mom and a great employee and still not be able to give 100% to everything at the same time.

She reminded us that some seasons are for grinding, and some seasons are for being present, simplifying, protecting your capacity, and letting “good enough” be a legitimate strategy.

And she reminded us that sometimes the most helpful thing we can say out loud is simply: this is not working.

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Feeling this tension right now?

If this conversation hit a little too close to home, we’d love to walk with you. Get Mom Ready coaching is for the mom who is trying to figure out who she is in the middle of work, motherhood, marriage, identity, overwhelm, and all the in-between.

You can learn more about coaching by booking a call with Meredith or send us a DM on Instagram @getmomready.

Explore Coaching

Links from this episode & Sam’s skincare routine

Follow Sam on Instagram: @itssamstorz

Morning:

• Dampen a clean skincare club towel with filtered water & wipe over my face - no facewash Clean Towels | Premium Face Towels for Clean, Clear Skin – Clean Skin Club *working to get a discount code for your listeners*

• A few spritzes of peptide spray on my face (and I rub in a bit with my hands) BLUE PEPTIDE SPRAY – Young Goose

• a pump and a 1/2 of this advanced retinal serum Osmosis Renew MD Advanced – Advanced Retinal Serum (this is my fave product, if you could only get one of these products, I’d choose this!)

• a pump and a 1/2 of stemfactor growth serum (this is VERY expensive so I only order twice a year and so I dont use it every day) Osmosis StemFactor - Growth Factor Serum

• a pump and a half of moisturizer Young Goose Youth Daily – Moisturizing Cream

• SPF - elta MD https://amzn.to/4aDPSav

Night:

• Once a week - Osmosis Polish MD Advanced – Cranberry Enzyme Mask holy grail product for me!

• Cleanser: ADAPTOGENIC CLEANSER – Young Goose

• Take a pump or two of cleanser and rub vigorously into my skin, dry, no water

• dampen my hands with water and take fingers and rub into my face, creating a bit of foam

• take my cleansing cloth and wipe my face

• then my same routine as morning - peptide spray, serums and end with moisturizer C.A.R.E. | NEW FORMULA – Young Goose

• and if you are looking for an extra - EYEC.A.R.E. – Young Goose

These products are expensive unfortunately and if someone could only afford to start with 1 or 2, I would recommend the Advanced Retinal serum (I felt like I saw that biggest difference right away with that and the Cranberry enzyme mask - you will notice an immediate difference and glow with your skin).. third would be the youth daily moisturizing cream. I wish I had a discount code for people but if you sign up for a subscription you can get it cheaper and then you can always cancel anytime- little hack there!

MAKEUP:

Toups & co is a woman founded, family run, small non-toxic makeup brand based in Alabama! I am OBSESSED with them! Their makeup is soooo good and I feel great knowing that I am putting products on my skin that won’t cause me harm

Discount code: SAMSTORZ for 15% off: https://toupsandco.com/SAMSTORZ

The products I personally use for a quick 5 min mom makeup routine

• Primer (you forget how much of a difference this makes until you actually put it on!) Flawless Face Primer – Toups and Co Organics

• tiny bit of concealer under my eyes (to make people think I slept more than 5 hours) Concealer – Toups and Co Organics

• tiny bit of foundation - LOVE that you can order sample packs for cheap to find your perfect summer/winter colors! Literally $6.80 with my discount code Sample Set - Liquid Foundation – Toups and Co Organics

• bronzer for a little contour - Bronzer – Toups and Co Organics

• love this cream cheek tint - Cream Cheek Tint – Toups and Co Organics

• I also love their eye liner, brow pencil and eye shadows but these aren’t something I’m using everyday for daycare drop offs

• the only makeup I use that is NOT toups and co is mascara - gotta keep it real, I do NOT love their mascara, so I use https://amzn.to/4wnbcJA

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On Saturday during nap time, I opened my laptop to write this…and then also opened 20 other tabs…and then woke up this morning realizing that I never finished and pressed publish.

So here we are on a Monday morning after a holiday weekend, reflecting on a mindset shift I’ve been thinking about for the last couple of months that has surfaced even more so in the thick of potty training.

This is one of my favorite art pieces from one of my favorite artists, . Until the last few months, I’ve always reflected on this piece as it relates to building my business.

(If you love it, go buy it here from Scott’s website…or at the very least click through to see the rest of his incredible art.)

It’s Scott’s hand script of “I Get To” on top of Buffalo Trail: The Impending Storm by by Albert Bierstadt.

It reminds me that buffalo actually run into the storm rather than away from it. There are several hypotheses on why…some say it’s because it helps them control their paths…others say they are looking for food sources that are left behind after the storm.

Either way, it feels like the opposite of the human condition…my natural reaction is to run away from the storm, make it go away, or seek comfort or certainty when I see the storm coming. And this piece reminds me to lean into the hard things, face them straight on, and the beautiful resilience that comes by making it to the other side, which honestly comes more naturally to me in business but has been less natural for me in motherhood.

Which leads me to…potty training.

My daughter took the motions of potty training on her own pretty easily. For months now, she’s been independently sitting on the potty, wiping, flushing, etc. I thought, “Oh awesome, this will be easy!”

Until the last few weeks when she goes potty everywhere else and with anyone else but me and her dad. She goes at school, she goes at church, but when I walk in to pick her up from school…she goes in her underwear.

Sorry if this is all TMI and you’ve stopped reading by now, but for those of you who are still with me…

last week, while sitting on the floor of the bathroom for the upteenth time that day, feeling internally so annoyed that this is my life now, this painting came to mind.

I was annoyed because I was thinking, “I have to sit here, repeat myself a million times, only to be disappointed when there’s no pee pee in the potty.” or “I have to wash the load of 5 panties she peed through today.”

And in the moment, I thought, what if I shift my mindset from I have to —> I get to.

• “I have to sit here on the floor waiting for her to go potty.” —> “I get to watch her learn and grow into an independent little girl.”

• “I have to clean up after accidents on the floor.” —> “I get to show her that it’s okay to have accidents because we’re just learning together.”

• “I have to change her clothes because she peed when I walked in the door.” —> I get to be her safe place where she can let her guard down.”

• “I have to repeat myself for what feels like the one-millionth time about everything…” —> “I get to learn to be present, slow down, and practice patience in the midst of motherhood.”

If I’m not careful, I can beat myself up with shame about feeling annoyed because it took us five years to have Iris as a part of our family. It’s a weird juxtaposition to feel more grateful than you could ever imagine…and also be annoyed at this person staring up (or down) at you from the potty, learning to do hard things at the same time you’re learning, too. I’m reminded of the paradoxes of motherhood that we talked about with on her podcast episode, “A Perfect Mom Would Not Be A Good Mom.”

I’m far from perfect, and it’s a daily exercise to shift my mindset to “I get to,” but we did have a win yesterday when she went pee pee in the potty with me at my friend’s house. Huge!

In that moment, I realized that the days are more fun when I’m viewing it through the lens of what I get to do versus what I have to do, realizing that the things I feel like “I have” to do are out of a place of immense privilege anyway.

So here’s my encouragement to us all on this wonky post-holiday week…how can we reset our minds by choosing one thing annoying us in our motherhood journey right now and shifting our mindset from “I have to” —> “I get to”?

Write it on a sticky, repeat it to yourself, do what you gotta do to practice that this week and see how it shifts things for you.

Let us know in the comments below!

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And if you feel stuck in the whirlwind of motherhood and are looking for a coach or sounding board to sort through it all, reach out to our GetMomReady crew about coaching. We’d love to support you.

Book a free Discovery Call

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You know that moment when everyone needs something from you at the exact same time and your entire family is looking at you like you were born with eight arms?

Emily Busby knows that feeling well.

One Memorial Day, she was in the kitchen trying to get food ready while her kids were barking orders from every direction. Her husband walked in from grilling and said, “Mommy has two hands. Give her a second. She’s not an octopus.”

And then they realized…wait. That’s a book.

Mommy’s Not an Octopus

Emily is the author of Mommy’s Not an Octopus, a children’s book that started as a joke but became something much deeper.

It’s funny for kids, but it’s also a love letter to moms.

Because somewhere along the way, a lot of us absorbed the idea that good moms just figure it out. We keep going. We carry the mental load. We anticipate everyone’s needs. We become the snack coordinator, schedule keeper, emotional support animal, laundry manager, and household search engine.

And then we wonder why we’re exhausted.

Emily, a former college athlete, talked about how much of her identity was built around pushing harder, doing more, and figuring it out. But motherhood did not respond to that strategy the way sports did.

In motherhood, pushing harder can quickly turn into burnout.

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Glass Balls and Plastic Balls

One of our favorite parts of this conversation was Emily sharing something her therapist-led coach taught her: everything you’re carrying is either a glass ball or a plastic ball.

Some things will break if you drop them.

Some things will bounce.

For Emily, laundry used to feel like a glass ball. It had to be washed, folded, and put away right away. Then baby number two came along, and she realized some things could wait.

We all have glass and plastic balls in life. The question becomes, which balls can drop without breaking in this season.

The Octopus Moment

Emily’s book has also given her family shared language.

Instead of snapping, “Can’t you see my hands are full?” she can say, “I’m having an octopus moment.”

SO. GOOD!

It gives kids a way to understand: Mom is overwhelmed. Mom needs patience. Mom needs help. Mom cannot do eight things at once.

Side bonus: it teaches our kids a way to understand and explain their own overwhelm in a way that fully makes sense to them.

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Support Is Not the Same as Delegation

We also talked about the difference between support and delegation.

Because “just ask for help” sounds great until asking for help becomes another job.

If you have to explain what needs to be done, manage the timing, answer twelve questions, and make everyone feel appreciated afterward, that is not always support. Every mom can feel this.

Real support might look like someone folding the laundry, washing bottles, dropping off breakfast, holding the baby, chopping the fruit, or taking meal planning completely off your plate without asking you 47 follow-up questions.

The hard part, of course, is that every mom needs something different.

Some of us want the baby held, some of us want the dishes done, some of us want company, some of us want everyone to leave lovingly and immediately.

And half the battle is figuring out what would actually help, then finding the words to say it.

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We Also Talked About...

• How Emily’s postpartum anxiety and depression showed up differently than she expected, especially as someone used to pushing through hard things.

• Why high-achieving moms can confuse “I can handle this” with “I should handle this alone.”

• The way motherhood forces us to loosen our grip on the version of balance we thought we were supposed to have.

• How support can change depending on the season. Sometimes it’s a break. Sometimes it’s someone taking one entire category off your plate.

• Why it can feel so awkward to tell people what would actually help, even when they genuinely want to help.

• And, of course, why a postpartum fridge magnet that says “here are things you can do without asking me 900 questions” may need to become official Get Mom Ready merch immediately.

Why This Episode Matters

This conversation is about the mental load of motherhood, the pressure to do it all, and the tiny ways we can start telling the truth about our limits.

If you have been trying to be everything for everyone, this episode is your reminder:

Mommy is not an octopus.

Mommy is a human, and humans are allowed to need help.

If This Episode Hit Close to Home

If you’re in a season where everyone needs something from you all the time, you are not crazy and you are not failing. You may just be having an octopus moment (or year).

Our coaches would love to help you figure out what’s glass, what’s plastic, and what kind of support would actually support you in this season.

You can learn more about coaching by booking a call with Meredith or send us a DM on Instagram @getmomready.

Explore Coaching

Find Emily

Emily Busby is the author of Mommy’s Not an Octopus.

You can find her on Instagram at @mommysnotanoctopus.

Hardcover copies and all of her printable resources are available at mommysnotanoctopus.com. Paperback and ebook versions are available on Amazon.

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I listened the the podcast in real time with you all since I wasn’t on this one and it was a fun experience. I found myself wanted to jump in at points so I’ll do that here, instead !

One thought I had was on the idea of permission and coordinating our schedules with our partners. I have a different point of view since my husband and I do ask each other’s permission to do something outside of the house. And hear me out, it’s not in the way you think. It’s not asking “am I allowed to do it?” but it is asking, “Does this work for our schedules?” We check in on Sunday each week, and I might say something like, “I have Mahjong on this night, does this work?” And he can double check his schedule and vice versa. His job is subject to change and meetings or travel can pop up last minute so we don’t have a calendar that is set in stone like others.

We do, however, have somethings on the schedule that are reoccurring. I run with friends on Saturday mornings and he has bible study on Thursday mornings. Those are things we know will happen and plan accordingly. It is also in our best interests that each of us is filled up separately because it makes up happier when we are all together! It also helps with the resentment not boiling over.

All to say, you get to find a communication style that works well with your relationship. It might be sending calendar invites at the beginning of the month. It might look like a weekly sit down to go over the schedule. Or it might look like a spontaneous conversation when you’re invited to something. You do you!

Speaking of conversations to reduce resentment. I noticed this week that when the girls were occupied, I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I realized that I was still feeding the girls, doing the dishes, and doing the laundry. My husband was reading, playing, and putzing around. I started to feel resentful about the way he was able to relax and I felt like I was just parenting in a different place. So what did I do? I asked him to help.

We switched on and off sleeping in, I asked him to switch over the laundry, etc. I did still feel like manager of “it’s time for them to eat lunch”, or “it’s time brush your teeth and go to bed”. But that’s a conversation for another day. I noticed something felt off and I changed the way I responded. I could have just gotten annoyed and stewed on my own, but who would that have helped? I wanted something to be different and so I asked for it.

This week we are heading into a week at my parent’s house together which will be the last week before he heads back to Texas.

My RESET this week will be to:

1. Find some ways to occupy myself that will ACTUALLY fill up my cup.

2. Ask for what I need or want.

3. Practice gratitude for what I have

I have a husband who works hard at what he does that allows us to spend this extra long time with our families. I have parents who welcome us with open arms and I have the sweetest girls who I get to spend the summers with.

Now what are you all reseting this week?

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In this episode, we started with the usual chaos: shirt compliments, color analysis, Top Chef, leftover tortellini bake, and the realization that our group chat probably really should be a podcast.

But the real conversation was about something so many moms feel, even if we don’t always say it out loud:

Why do we feel like we need permission?

Permission to leave the house. Permission to rest. Permission to ask for help. Permission to go out with friends. Permission to say, “I’m going to do this,” instead of, “Would it be okay if I…?”

We talked about the difference between asking for consideration and asking for permission, why moms often feel guilty when someone else has to step into the role we usually carry, and how hard it can be to rest when your kids are still in the house and still looking for you every three seconds.

We also talked about the sneaky resentment that can build when we keep telling ourselves, “I can do it,” instead of asking, “At what cost?”

Because yes, we can push through. We can keep carrying it. We can be strong enough.

But that doesn’t mean we should have to.

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Permission vs. consideration

There’s a difference between giving your spouse a heads up and asking if you’re allowed to have a life.

A shared calendar? Helpful.

Saying, “Hey, I’m meeting the girls Tuesday night, let me know if there’s an issue”? Great.

Feeling like you have to justify why you need one hour to eat a burger, go on a walk, read a book, or sit in silence? That’s where we may need to pause.

What’s your version of golf balls?

We talked about how some people seem to naturally know how to decompress. Golf balls. Video games. A quiet drive. A workout.

And then there are moms who are standing in the kitchen thinking, “Wait, what is that for me?”

Not what is productive. Not what helps the house. Not what checks something off the list.

What actually restores you?

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Resting at home is its own kind of hard

Sometimes we don’t want to leave. Sometimes we want to be home, near our kids, but not the person answering every single request.

We want to read the book. Take the bath. Eat the breakfast. Finish the thought.

And part of motherhood is slowly teaching our kids, and ourselves, that Mom’s needs matter too.

“I can do it” is not the same as “I should”

This one hit.

So many of us have built our lives around being capable. We can handle it. We can figure it out. We can keep going.

But if the cost is resentment, exhaustion, anger, or feeling like you’ve disappeared under everyone else’s needs, it may be time to ask a different question.

Not “Can I carry this?”

But “What is this costing me?”

This episode is for the mom who keeps waiting for permission, and maybe needs the reminder that needing rest, friendship, space, help, or a minute to eat her own breakfast does not make her selfish.

It makes her human.

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For the practical mom

If you found yourself nodding along, start here. These are the questions we’re taking with us:

• Where in my life am I asking for permission when I really just need to communicate with consideration?

• Am I inviting people into my decisions because I value their input, or because I need reassurance?

• What is my version of hitting golf balls, playing video games, or a quiet walk?

• Where am I saying, “I can do it,” when the better question might be, “At what cost?”

• What belief about myself is keeping me from asking for what I need?

• What is one small way I can teach my family that Mom’s needs matter too?

And maybe the gentlest one of all:

• What would it look like this week to stop waiting for permission and start practicing partnership?

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Want help practicing this in real life?

If this stirred something up and you’re realizing you may need support untangling the guilt, the resentment, or the “I can just do it” pattern, that’s exactly the kind of thing we work through in coaching.

You can learn more about coaching by booking a call with Meredith or send us a DM on Instagram @getmomready.

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Get Mom Ready is the community for driven moms living full lives and figuring out how all the pieces work together. Subscribe to get every episode and article delivered to your inbox.

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Most of us are a few weeks into our summer routines now, which means the novelty may or may not be wearing off, the snack requests are multiplying, and everyone is figuring out what kind of summer they’re actually going to have.

So this week on the Get Mom Ready Podcast, we caught up on our summer mindsets.

Hannah is leaning into a very intentional 90s summer strategy with the girls: low-lift fun, popsicles, playing outside, and not spending waterpark money when a splash pad will create the same amount of fun and the same amount of complaints. Then, naturally, they got caught in a downpour at the farthest part of their neighborhood walk, which basically turned into a free waterpark. Honestly, efficient.

Anna is in her Slip ’N Slide era, except her daughter has already decided the hose water is too cold. So now Anna is considering filling it up at lunch and letting the sun warm it by afternoon, which feels like the kind of summer science experiment we are all very invested in.

And our fabulous guest, Mary Scott Mercer, shared that this is her first “real” week of summer after sickness and travel, so she’s figuring out the rhythm: gym childcare, splash pads, library trips, lunch, rest, and the very important $20 Costco pool. Add a few mom friends, some backyard chaos, and suddenly you have what she lovingly called the “redneck yacht club.”

No matter what summer looks like for you right now, highly scheduled, very loose, full of camps, full of chaos, or powered almost entirely by popsicles, this past week’s episode is for you.

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There was something so funny and comforting about all of it. None of us are trying to be the Pinterest cruise director. We are trying to give our kids a summer that feels fun and free without making ourselves completely unwell in the process.

But like most Get Mom Ready conversations, the silly catch-up eventually opened the door to something deeper when Mary Scott said,

“I wonder if we wouldn’t be having this screen time fight if I wasn’t having a screen time fight.”

Whew.

So yes, this episode has Costco pools and Slip ’N Slides and 90s summer energy. But it also has a really honest conversation about what happens when motherhood gets loud, overstimulating, and relentless, and we start noticing that our kids’ lack of boundaries may be revealing our own.

It’s funny. It’s practical. It’s a little too relatable. And if you have ever tried to create a magical summer while also wanting to scroll, escape, reset, or be left alone with one full thought, we think you’re going to love this one.

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So here’s to the little shifts that make summer feel a little more doable for you, not just more magical for everyone else:

Maybe it’s putting the water cups out the night before. Maybe it’s deciding when screen time starts so you don’t have to negotiate it before coffee. Maybe it’s texting a mom friend and saying, “Backyard chaos at 4?” Maybe it’s letting the $20 pool be enough.

Listen to this week’s episode of Get Mom Ready wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss what we talk about next.

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Happy Sunday!

The Get Mom Ready Crew

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You know those conversations that start with Slip ’N Slides, splash pads, Costco pools, and “’90s summer”…and somehow end up at the deep emotional truth that maybe your kids are not the only ones who need screen time boundaries?

That was today’s episode.

We started with summer. The kind where the kids are home, the hose is out, the $20 backyard pool is doing the heavy lifting, and everyone is trying to make “low-lift fun” feel like enough.

Honestly? We support this math.

But then Mary Scott (our guest this week & one of Meredith’s best friends who quickly become one of ours) said something that reset the conversation:

 I wonder if my inability to hold personal boundaries is gonna pour over into my inability to keep boundaries with my kids.

And there it was.

The conversation turned into: what happens when motherhood gets loud, overstimulating, repetitive, and relentless, and we find ourselves reaching for whatever gives us a little escape. A phone, p podcast, audiobook, Instagram. Anything that makes the backyard, the whining, the snack requests, the 5:30 a.m. wakeups, and the 14th “Mommy?” feel a little less consuming.

Because we love our kids…and we’re only human.

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The hard part of summer is not just the kids being home

Summer with little kids can sound so simple from the outside. Let them play outside, give them popsicles, fill up the kiddie pool, go to the library, let them be bored. Bring back the ’90s summer!!

Great. Love that. Fully on board.

But the actual experience can feel very different.

Because you are still managing sunscreen, snacks, sibling fights, hydration, towels, “watch this,” “watch this again,” and someone crying because the hose water is too cold.

And if you are a mom with young kids, you may not be getting the clean, quiet morning routine people on the internet are always trying to sell you.

If you’re like Mary Scott, you may be trying to read at 5:08 a.m. while one kid crawls into your bed, another kid wakes up at 5:38 asking for cheese balls, and you are whisper-yelling because one wrong floorboard creak could wake the whole house.

So when we talk about boundaries, we are not talking about cute, aesthetic boundaries. We are talking about the kind you need when you are already overstimulated before 6:00 a.m.

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What we walked away with

This episode was not a neat and tidy “five ways to survive summer with kids” conversation, but there were a lot of takeaways that felt immediately useful:

1. Set yourself up before the day starts bossing you around.
   Sometimes the most regulating thing you can do is put the water cups out the night before. Or set breakfast bowls where the kids can reach them. Or put a basket of quiet toys, books, or the Toniebox by the couch where you actually sit in the morning. Not because you are trying to become a perfect systems mom, but because 5:30 a.m. you would love those small acts of prep.
   

2. Notice what you are reaching for.
   This conversation was never really just about phones. It was about the constant input. Instagram, podcasts, audiobooks, music, noise, anything that keeps us from sitting in the discomfort of the moment. Sometimes the question is not, “Why am I on my phone again?” Sometimes it is, “What am I trying not to feel right now?”
   

3. What down what you love.

   Literally, make a list and put it on the fridge like Hannah did. That way, when you do have pockets of downtime, you don’t have to reach for more noise, you have a reminder of hobbies that refuel you without having to do the mental gymnastics of remembering what you even like with the 15 minutes you have.
   

4. Let jealousy give you information.
   Mary Scott talked about looking back on the school year and feeling frustrated that she had childcare hours but still did not do some of the things she wanted to do. Write. Create. Start the Substack. Have something that felt like fruit. Hannah’s response was so helpful:

what if the things you feel jealous of are not there to shame you, but to show you what you really want?

5. Reset the day when it starts sideways.
   If the morning starts in full reactive mode, you are allowed to call a redo. You can literally say, “You know what? We’re starting over.” Go back into your room, walk out again, make it silly and fun, and let your kids see that a bad moment does not have to become a bad day.
   

6. Repeat after me, “I am the mom”
   One of the biggest themes in this conversation was how easy it is to parent from a reactive place. Staying calm is sometimes as easy as remembering that you are the one in charge. You get to decide your family’s rhythms, routines, and habits. And that’s a gift, not a burden.

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This episode is for the mom who wants to be present but also wants to be a person

There are so many competing messages in motherhood.

Be present, but let them be bored. Enjoy every second, but have your own hobbies. Don’t make your kids the center of the universe, but remember this is their only childhood. Take care of yourself, but also be emotionally available, regulated, patient, playful, structured, flexible, and somehow not annoyed when someone asks for a snack 11 minutes after breakfast.

No wonder we are tired.

This conversation does not tie all of that up in a neat bow, because real motherhood rarely works that way. But it does give language to something a lot of moms are living right now.

You can love your kids deeply and still want to escape sometimes. You can set boundaries with your kids and realize you need some with yourself too. You can create a magical summer without making yourself the cruise director. You can be present without being constantly available. You can be the mom and still be a person.

And maybe this summer doesn’t have to be about doing more. Maybe it can be about noticing what is not working, releasing some shame, making a few tiny changes, and remembering that you are allowed to lead your home with calm, confidence, and a little more mercy for yourself.

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If this episode hit close to home

If you’re anything like Mary Scott, maybe you noticed a gap between the mom you are in real life and the mom you want to be in your head because motherhood has a way of exposing the places where our own boundaries, rhythms, expectations, and coping mechanisms are not quite working anymore.

And sometimes, you just need someone to help you name what’s happening, get curious about what’s underneath it, and find a few practical next steps that actually fit the season you’re in.

If you loved the way Hannah and Meredith helped Mary Scott walk through what she was feeling, our coaches would love to do the same for you.

You can learn more about coaching by booking a call with Meredith, or send us a DM on Instagram @getmomready.

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Hi GMR community! Meredith here.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about getting off Instagram on my personal Substack. (You can read that here).

At the time, I mostly wrote about the relief of it all:

The relief of not being sold to.

The relief of not selling (I do not have enough ‘praise hands’ emojis for this).

The relief of not constantly consuming information, hacks, tips, opinions, recommendations, and ‘the shoulds’ (even when well-meaning).

My friend Monica (at it again with her wisdom) recently reminded me of the phrase “opportunity cost,” and it brought me back to my reflections about giving up Instagram. I wasn’t spending eight straight hours a day scrolling. I wasn’t neglecting my responsibilities. My opportunity costs were more subtle than that.

But also…were they?

Because while there were certainly deeper costs, there was also the very obvious reality that I was reaching for my phone ALL. THE. TIME. I’m about to embarrass myself here with some examples:

Walking from the kitchen to the living room? Phone.

Waiting for water to boil? Phone.

Commercial break? Phone.

A few minutes before an appointment? Phone.

Stoplight? Phone.

Tiny flicker of boredom? Phone.

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At some point, I had to admit that it was becoming ridiculous.

I had become a grown woman who instinctively reached for a small black rectangle every time there was an opening in my day. The actual scrolling was only part of it. The bigger realization was how automatic it had become. I wasn’t really choosing anymore- I was reacting. When I was honest with myself, I was embarrassed by my automatic behavior.

For me, I realized that the people I admire most don’t seem to move through life that way. They possess a kind of presence I want for myself- a steadiness and rootedness that feels increasingly rare.

Again, the issue wasn’t that Instagram was inherently bad. It was that my relationship with it felt increasingly out of alignment with the kind of person I wanted to become. The funny thing is, this realization was so subtle, it took me being sick as a dog during my first trimester to finally stop caring about Instagram altogether (as referenced in my original Bye Bye, Insta article).

The opportunity cost wasn’t just the time I spent on Instagram. It was all the moments surrounding Instagram. It was the low-level hum of noise running in the background, even if that noise was funny reels or genuinely helpful information. What I’ve realized since getting off Instagram is that attention is one of the most valuable things I have (please forgive how dorky this sounds, it’s just the truth).

Then there was the creator side of things. WOOF. The scrolling was one thing, but there was also the constant awareness of content:

Should I post this?

Should I share this?

This would make a good story.

I should get B-roll.

I should remember this for later.

I don’t think I fully appreciated how much mental bandwidth that occupied until it was gone. And I don’t think the biggest opportunity cost was productivity. I don’t look back and think, “Imagine all the things I could have accomplished.” Instead, I think about all the micro moments I was giving away. I wanted entertainment at every mundane turn and, frankly, it was just ridiculous. I’m not suggesting that boredom needs to become a profound spiritual experience. I’m simply saying that, for me, not every spare second needs to belong to a device.

I got off Instagram mostly by circumstance, but I stayed off because I realized how much of my attention it had quietly claimed. And I do mean claimed. Now that I’ve gotten some of those micro moments back, I don’t particularly want to give them away again. I want to be the kind of person who can sit with her thoughts during a commercial break, or stand in line at Target without immediately checking what she missed in the last fifteen minutes (she probably didn’t miss anything).

I will be SO curious to hear where this landed with you, Get Mom Ready community. Reply to this email or comment below if you’re reading this on Substack.

This week we’re dropping a truthful, hilariously relatable episode with our dear friend, Mary Scott Mercer. It’s part how-to-have-a-butter-summer-but-not-lose-your-marbles and part what-kind-of-boundaries-do-I-need-for-myself. The recording felt electric, and we hope you feel that energy when you listen! Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss an episode!

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As always, you can listen to the Get Mom Ready Podcast anywhere you consume podcasts! CATCH UP ON EPISODES HERE.

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Episode Show Notes

When you think of the Enneagram, you probably think of phrases like, “I’m such a 7,” or “That’s so Enneagram 8 of me.”

But what if the Enneagram was less about labeling yourself and more about learning how to notice your patterns with a little more honesty, kindness, and compassion?

In this episode of Get Mom Ready, Holly, Meredith, and Anna sit down with Meredith’s longtime friend Nicole Shephard to talk about the Enneagram, but not in a “put yourself in a number box and stay there forever” kind of way.

Nicole is certified in the Enneagram for Conscious Living, and she helps us think about the Enneagram as a tool for noticing our patterns, understanding ourselves with more kindness, and maybe yelling at our kids slightly less when bedtime goes off the rails (Or at least understanding why we yelled)…baby steps.

Why Moms Will Love This Conversation

Because motherhood has a special way of revealing exactly what is going on inside of us.

• The bedtime routine gets disrupted and suddenly you’re not just annoyed, you’re deeply annoyed.

• Your kid has a meltdown and somehow it activates every unhealed thing inside your body.

• Your spouse says one normal sentence and you’re like, “Wow, interesting tone.”

• You finally get a quiet moment and instead of relaxing, you start mentally reorganizing the pantry, planning summer logistics, and wondering if your child’s entire emotional future depends on how you handled bath time.

So yeah, we need tools to help us navigate the many emotions of motherhood.

And in this conversation, Nicole helps us see the Enneagram as one of those tools. Not to overanalyze everyone in your house. Not to type your toddler. Please do not walk around saying, “She’s giving unhealthy 4 energy” about your preschooler. But to ask better questions about ourselves:

• What’s actually underneath my reaction?

• Is this fear, shame, or anger?

• What pattern do I keep falling into?

• What does my kid need from me right now?

• What do I need right now?

• And Nicole’s favorite: how do I bring a little more compassion into the whole situation?

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The Enneagram Is Not Just a Personality Test

Nicole explains that the Enneagram is wayyy more layered than the quick internet version most of us have heard.

Instead of saying, “I am a type,” she uses the phrase “center of gravity,” which feels so much less dramatic and permanent. Your type is not your prison sentence. It’s simply a pattern you tend to return to.

The goal is not to say, “Well, I’m an 8, so good luck everyone.” The goal is to notice the patterns, understand what they were trying to protect, and decide whether they are still helping you now.

Please Don’t Type Your Toddler

One of our favorite parts of this conversation is when Nicole talks about using the Enneagram as a mom.

She is not trying to figure out her kids’ Enneagram numbers while they are still little. Instead, she uses the framework to pay attention to what might be driving their behavior by asking:

“Is this coming from fear, anger, shame?”

A much more useful approach than trying to diagnose every tantrum.

Because sometimes our kids are not “being difficult.” Sometimes they are scared, embarrassed, mad, tired, overstimulated, or all of the above (plus they were given the wrong color cup, which, as we know, is a full family crisis).

Nicole talks about meeting our kids in that place instead of immediately trying to fix or correct the behavior. And that led us into a really tender conversation about our kids’ essence: who they are before the world tells them who they should be.

Yes, we cried a little. 🥹

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Marriage, Routines, and the Plans We Keep Not Making

Nicole also talks about instincts (self-preservation, social, and attraction/sexual) and how they show up in real life.

And this is where Holly realizes that she and her husband, Elliott may both lean hard toward structure and routine, which would explain why they can talk about rock climbing for 13 years and never actually go rock climbing.

They have also discussed going to a concert multiple times but still haven’t bought the tickets, because apparently wanting to do something and actually disrupting your routine to do it are two very different activities.

If you have ever said, “We should totally do that,” and then immediately returned to your couch, your calendar, and your regularly scheduled life, this section is for you.

Your Spouse Is Not Supposed to Be You

One of Nicole’s most helpful reminders is that every type, center, and instinct has value.

The point is not to make your spouse, friend, child, or co-worker see the world exactly the way you do. The point is to get curious about what they see that you might be missing.

Nicole talks about how she shares what she is learning with her partner, owns the ways her own patterns affect their family, and tries to see his way of moving through the world as something she can learn from, not just something to correct.

When Other People Won’t “Do the Work”

We also get into the thing many of us feel but maybe do not always say out loud:

It is really frustrating when you are trying to grow, heal, become more self-aware, go to therapy, read the books, listen to the podcasts, take the walks, journal the feelings, and someone else is just… not.

Nicole offers a gentle but very inconvenient reminder: the work always starts with us.

Not because other people’s choices do not matter, not because you should tolerate unhealthy behavior, and not because boundaries are optional.

But because the only person you can actually change is you.

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Nicole’s Life in the Cotswolds

Nicole also shares her story of moving to the UK, raising two British-born daughters in the Cotswolds, and what it has looked like to follow a vision for her life that started long before motherhood.

It is dreamy and brave and very “wait, should we all move to the English countryside?”

Listen If…

Listen to this episode if you’ve ever:

• Used the Enneagram to explain yourself and then wondered if that was allowed

• Wanted to understand your reactions instead of just feeling bad about them

• Felt triggered by your child’s totally normal child behavior

• Wanted better language for marriage and conflict

• Had a toddler meltdown turn into a personal growth opportunity you did not ask for

• Said, “We should do that sometime,” and then never did it

• Needed a reminder that self-awareness should make you kinder, not meaner to yourself

Resources Mentioned to go Deeper Into The Enneagram

Nicole recommended Russ Hudson as her favorite Enneagram teacher and suggested starting with his work if you want to go deeper.

The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
A foundational overview of all nine types.

Understanding the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
A deeper, more technical resource on the triads and structure of the Enneagram.

The Enneagram: Nine Gateways to Presence by Russ Hudson
An audiobook Nicole described as more meditative and embodied, especially helpful for people with a mindfulness practice.

The Enneagram Institute Type Descriptions and Assessment
Nicole said an assessment can be a helpful place to start, as long as you treat it as a direction to explore rather than a final answer.

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And honestly, I’ve been rolling my eyes at those posts.

Not because I don’t support lawn chair parenting. I deeply support lawn chair parenting. I aspire to lawn chair parent!! But as the mom of an only child who has also been a medical kid, I just never thought that would be me.

Emmie and I are deeply bonded. It is beautiful and precious, and it is also a lot. She has historically had very little interest in solo play. And yes, I know some people may want to say, “Well, that’s because you didn’t enforce it.” To which I lovingly say: if you have not spent months parenting in a hospital, please just pat my head and move on.

But two weeks ago, our family went on a lake trip. And you guys, I had the thought: I finally made it.

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Not forever. Not in every category. Not in a “motherhood is easy now” kind of way. But for a moment, I felt it.

We played together in a way we both actually enjoyed. Not house, not Barbies, not me trying to remember the plotline she created three days ago and getting in trouble because I said the wrong voice for the wrong character. We played in the water. We jammed to music we both love. We took golf cart rides. We laughed. We joked. We splashed around. She loved the sand, the lake, the snacks, the whole thing.

And then? She found other kids to play with. And I sat in a beach chair next to my husband for thirty whole minutes.

Thirty. Unheard of!

The Instagram trend I had been rolling my eyes at a few weeks ago was suddenly my actual life, and I was thrilled.

This is your Sunday reminder that some seasons do shift. Maybe not all at once. Maybe not cleanly. Maybe not without new challenges waiting around the corner. I know there are harder decisions ahead, bigger emotions ahead, and more complicated parenting moments ahead. I have older nieces and nephews, so I am not under the illusion that the hardest parts of motherhood are behind me.

But for one little moment in motherhood, I felt like I had arrived.

And if you are in the thick of it right now, the baby years, the toddler years, the clingy years, the medically complicated years, the “why does every basic task require my entire nervous system?” years, I hope this encourages you. Not because you need to rush through this season, but because you may not always be quite as needed in the exact same way you are right now.

One day, you may look up and realize you are sitting in the chair. And it might feel like a tiny miracle.

If you are in the thick of something much heavier than a clingy kid, I hope you’ll listen to this week’s episode with Amber. She shares what it has looked like to walk through motherhood as a medical mom, release expectations, and find resilience when life looks nothing like the plan. It is honest, grounding, and such a gift for any mom carrying more than people can see.

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So here’s your Sunday Reset: notice one place where something may be shifting. Maybe your kid played independently for five minutes. Maybe bedtime was 2% less chaotic. Maybe you asked for help faster than you used to. Maybe you’re not thriving, but you are recovering a little more quickly.

That counts. And if you are not in your lawn chair era yet, I am cheering for you from mine! For exactly thirty minutes, apparently. ☺️

Anna

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We thought this conversation would be about navigating life as a medical mom.

And it is, but like every honest conversation on this podcast, it turned into an encouragement to every mom who feels like they’re carrying the weight of the world.

It became a conversation about what happens when the life you planned stops being the life you’re living. About releasing expectations you didn’t even realize you were carrying. About redefining what “success” looks like when you’re split in twelve directions and none of them come with a manual.

Amber is a mom of four, a full-time professional, a medical mom to her son Santi who has congenital heart disease and is currently awaiting a heart transplant at Texas Children’s Hospital, and she is somehow still the most positive, grounded person in the room.

As she shared in the episode:

“You can be optimistic about things, but you can’t be attached to them.”

That one line might be the most useful thing any of us hear this week.

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What This Episode Is Really About

Yes, we talk about Santi’s medical journey, hospital stays, and the day-to-day reality of caring for a child on a transplant list. But underneath all of that, this episode is about:

• The moment you realize motherhood isn’t going to look like you imagined

• What it means to keep showing up when you’ve had to let go of the plan

• How to redefine success when your old version of “enough” doesn’t fit anymore

• Why accepting help is one of the hardest and most important things a mom can do

• And how community and small moments of joy carry you through seasons that don’t make sense yet

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Themes We Keep Coming Back To From This Conversation

You can plan everything and still get blindsided, and that’s not failure, that’s life.

Letting go of expectations isn’t giving up. It’s how you survive and find joy.

“Strong” doesn’t always feel strong on the inside.

Sometimes the most important thing you do today is cuddle your kids and let the rest wait.

Asking for help doesn’t come naturally to most moms, so if you see one struggling, just show up. Don’t wait for her to ask.

If You’re In This Season Right Now…

This episode is for you if:

1. You’re managing more than feels manageable and wondering how other moms do it

2. You’ve had to grieve a version of motherhood or a version of yourself that you expected

3. You’re redefining what success looks like at work, at home, or both

4. You feel guilty for the way you’re parenting even though you know you’re doing your best

5. You’re a medical mom, a heart mom, or a mom who just needs to hear: you’re not behind. You’re in it.

Or you just need someone to remind you to listen to your body and when in doubt, rest.

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Resources + Links

Connect with Amber and ask to be a part of Santi’s group. She will send you the link to follow his medical journey:

Related Episodes/Resources:

• Parenting in the Middle of Medical Chaos: Anna’s Story as a Medical Mom

• Chronic Decision Fatigue: Why You’re Exhausted & How to Overcome It

• The Week I Couldn’t Even Look at My Daughter

Want More Support?

If this episode stirred something in you, if you’re holding more than you thought you’d be holding right now, or you’re trying to figure out what “enough” even looks like in this season, Get Mom Ready Coaching is here for you.

We don’t give you more to do. We help you become a version of yourself that can actually hold your life.

You can learn more about coaching by booking a call with Meredith or send us a DM on Instagram @getmomready.

See if Coaching is Right for you

You don’t get to choose most of what life hands you. You don’t get to choose the diagnosis, the hospital stay, the season that turns everything sideways.

But you do get to choose how you carry it. And sometimes carrying it well looks like letting go of the way you thought it was supposed to look and finding something real and good in what’s actually here.

Listen to your body. Accept the help. And when in doubt? Rest.

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Hannah has such an eye for fashion and looking put together, and I am often…the opposite of that.

Which is one of the reasons I love GetMomReady so much. We are all so different, but we are unified by the same values: telling the truth, supporting each other, and making space for the whole mom.

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So this is my version of “what’s in my bag.”

Most days, my “bag” is:

• my phone

• a wallet stuck to the back of it

• and one car key

That’s it.

I don’t really carry a purse because digging through a bag is my personal nightmare. I like pockets. I like being hands-free.

Do I need a cute bag for networking events? Yes.

Especially after the time I showed up to a very fancy fundraising brunch at River Oaks Country Club in an outfit I felt amazing in (read more about that outfit in my Mother’s Day saga here)… only to realize my ancient clutch was literally shedding white pieces behind me as I walked to my seat.

Very humbling and very classic Holly Tate.

But that little “what’s in my bag” moment got me thinking about something bigger for this Sunday Reset.

My word for this year is simplify (see vision board pic in the video above or the pic below!).

And as we get close to the halfway point of the year, I’m checking back in with that word.

Because simplifying is not just about carrying less or carrying “the right” stuff.

For me, it’s about simplifying my commitments, having fewer unfinished decisions, cancelling subscriptions that aren’t serving me, and reflecting on the things living rent-free in my brain.

For years in my corporate jobs, Sunday meant the Sunday scaries for me: that pit in my stomach when I looked at the week ahead and thought about everything I owed, everything I was behind on, and everything waiting for me on Monday.

I don’t live in that same rhythm anymore, and I’m really grateful for that.

But I still need a reset.

Because I’m not usually the person who needs motivation to do more.

So this week, I’m asking myself:

1. What am I carrying that I do not actually need to carry? (physically and mentally!!)

2. What decision have I already made in my gut but haven’t acted on yet?

3. What commitment, subscription, or expense is no longer serving me in this season?

4. Where am I over-activating instead of simplifying?

5. What is the smallest next step I can take to make this week feel lighter?

That’s my Sunday Reset.

Just one honest check-in with what I said mattered to me this year.

What are you resetting this week?

Here’s to small steps that lead to simplifying our weeks before Monday.

Two years ago, I tried to get my daughter a passport in Houston.

And when I say “tried,” I mean I entered what can only be described as a bureaucratic escape room designed specifically for tired mothers.

The first time, I showed up without an appointment.

Rejected.

The second time, I had the paperwork, or so I thought, but didn’t have a passport photo because I had been told USPS could take one on site. Their machine was broken.

Rejected again.

So I went to Walgreens to get her picture taken. Except that Walgreens’ photo machine was also down that day, because of course it was. So I drove to another Walgreens, got the picture, made another appointment, showed up again, and then realized I was still missing one of the required forms from my husband.

At that point, I gave up.

We didn’t actually need the passport yet, and I was too tired to keep trying to win Passport Olympics.

But now we’re traveling internationally next year, so it was time to try again. (Mind you, now we live in the suburbs, and I’m not kidding when I say everything is 10x faster when you’re 40 minutes removed from a big city.)

And this time? It took 20 minutes. Twenty. Minutes.

The difference was not that I suddenly became more organized as a person. The difference was that I had already learned the hard way exactly where things can go wrong.

So for every mom who has “get child’s passport” sitting on her mental to-do list and feels her nervous system activate just thinking about it, here’s the order I would do it in.

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First: Get the passport photo before your appointment

Do not assume the passport office, USPS, or pharmacy will be able to take the picture that day. Call ahead.

Ask:

“Do you take passport photos for children?”

And then ask the very important follow-up question:

“Is your photo machine working today?”

Because apparently this is a real thing.

Once you have the picture in hand, protect it with your life. Put it in the folder with your other documents and do not let your toddler touch it, bend it, snack near it, or lovingly crumple it into a ball.

Second: Make the appointment

Most passport acceptance facilities require or strongly prefer appointments, especially USPS locations.

Do not do what I did and just show up with hope and a diaper bag.

Find a location, make the appointment, and put it on the calendar for both parents if both of you are able to go.

For children under 16, both parents or guardians generally need to appear in person with the child. If one parent can’t go, there is extra paperwork involved, usually a notarized consent form. That is doable, but it is also exactly the kind of thing that can derail your appointment if you realize it too late.

So my recommendation?

If at all possible, bring both parents. It made the whole thing so much easier.

Third: Fill out Form DS-11 ahead of time

For a child’s first passport, you’ll need Form DS-11.

Fill it out before you go, print it single-sided, and do not sign it until they tell you to at the appointment. The State Department specifically says DS-11 should be printed single-sided and signed only when instructed.

This is not the moment to freestyle. In fact, I waited to fill out her height, hair color, and eye color in case they had a specific format they wanted me to use.

Have the form ready, but wait to sign and leave any info you’re unsure of blank until you’re there.

Fourth: Bring a checkbook

Yes, a checkbook.

I know. It feels like packing a relic from 2004, but passport fees can be split between the U.S. Department of State and the acceptance facility, and payment methods may vary by location. For children under 16 applying with DS-11, the State Department says there are two separate fees: one paid to the Department of State and one paid to the facility where you submit the application.

So bring the checkbook. This is not where we take a stand for modern payment systems.

Fifth: Pack your passport folder

Here’s what we brought:

• Form DS-11

• Our daughter’s real birth certificate

• My photo ID

• My husband’s photo ID

• Passport photo

• Checkbook

• Photocopies of the documents, just in case

The official guidance says children under 16 need to apply in person, and you’ll need evidence of U.S. citizenship, proof of parental relationship, parent or guardian photo IDs, photocopies, photo, and fees.

I made photocopies of everything because, at that point, I was not interested in being humbled by a copier.

Did they need every single photocopy I brought? No. Did I regret having them? Also no.

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The simple order I’d follow

Here’s the mom-friendly version:

1. Find your child’s real birth certificate.

2. Fill out DS-11, print it single-sided, and do not sign it yet.

3. Get the passport photo ahead of time.

4. Call first to make sure the photo location’s machine is working.

5. Make the passport appointment.

6. Put both parents’ IDs in the folder.

7. Make photocopies of everything.

8. Bring your child, both parents if possible, the documents, the photo, and a checkbook.

9. Leave 20 minutes later feeling like you just beat the system.

The real lesson

The first time I tried to get my daughter’s passport, I felt like I kept failing at something that should have been simple.

But looking back, I wasn’t failing. I was tired, I was missing information, I was trying to do a multi-step government errand while also being a mom, which automatically makes every task 40% more complicated.

This time, I wasn’t a different person. I just had a better order of operations. And sometimes that’s what makes motherhood feel lighter.

Not doing more, not becoming more organized overnight, just knowing what comes first, what comes next, and what paperwork absolutely cannot be forgotten on the kitchen counter.

So if getting your kid’s passport is on your list, consider this your little nudge:

• Make the appointment.

• Get the picture first.

• Bring the checkbook.

• And may every machine you encounter be working.

Happy travels!

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Not in a dramatic, announcement-to-the-world way. More like a quiet, steady conclusion she carried after losing her mom in a car accident at 24, two months into running her business full time, two weeks before Christmas.

Her brain did what a lot of our brains would do. No mom. Can’t be a mom. Not happening.

And for a long time, that felt like the answer.

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The Workbook That Changed Everything

Years later, after a fostering experience that was equal parts meaningful and traumatic, after watching close friends have babies, after sitting in the tension of “I genuinely don’t know if I’m supposed to do this,” Jess did what any type-A woman would do.

She found a workbook on Amazon.

Somewhere around chapter eight, there was a prompt: Write a letter to the child you’re choosing not to have. (yes, we all got chills.)

And she couldn’t do it.

That was the answer.

“You Could Just Have One”

Jess brought this realization to a mentor, a friend about ten years older who knew she’d been wrestling with this. Jess told her she thought she was supposed to have kids, and that it was terrifying.

Her friend said two things. First: I know you can do this. Second: You could just have one.

And Jess said something on the podcast that stuck with us. She said she knew she didn’t need permission. But in that moment, the permission opened a door she didn’t know was available.

She got pregnant a month later.

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“She Has the Best Advocate in Her Back Pocket”

Jess is a type 1 diabetic, diagnosed at three. One of her biggest fears about having a baby was passing it on. There’s no guarantee either way, and the not-knowing is its own kind of weight.

But when we asked how she navigated that surrender, she said something that wrecked us:

“Well, she has the best advocate in her back pocket if it happens.”

That confidence didn’t come from nowhere. It came from watching her own mom advocate fiercely for her. Standing in the hallway at school going to bat for her. Making sure her daughter was seen and cared for, even when the systems around her didn’t get it.

Jess is carrying that forward now.

Designing a Life, Not Just Running a Business

Jess has been running Jess Creatives for 15 years. She also founded The Ordinary Business, a podcast and community for business owners who want to do good work and work with cool people without chasing a million-dollar goal.

What stood out to us in this conversation wasn’t just her business success. It was how intentionally she’s built her life around it.

She doesn’t work Fridays. She has a clear revenue ceiling she’s comfortable with. She turns down projects when she’s full, even when the money is tempting. She’d rather be present at bedtime than answering one more email.

And she said something we think every mom building something needs to hear: she’s not willing to say yes to work just for money if it means missing bedtime, staying up until midnight, or skipping the park. “You can wait until my next availability, or you can go find someone else.”

That’s not luck. That’s 15 years of designing a life on purpose.

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The Thing About Mother’s Intuition

At the very end of our conversation (the part that wasn’t even supposed to be recorded), Jess said something that we couldn’t not share.

She expected mother’s intuition to be loud. Like a clear signal. A flashing sign. And for months after her daughter was born, she thought she didn’t have it.

Then she realized: for her, it’s quiet. It’s the small thought that crosses her mind, like “maybe I should take her to the doctor.” Not a dramatic knowing. Just a nudge.

She followed one of those nudges once. Double ear infection.

That was her intuition. She just didn’t recognize it because she was waiting for it to shout.

Why This Episode Matters

This is a conversation about grief and motherhood and entrepreneurship and identity and what happens when you stop waiting for life to feel certain and start designing it anyway.

If you’ve ever felt like you needed permission to want something, or like your instincts were too quiet to trust, or like you had to have it all figured out before you could take the next step, this one’s for you.

If This Episode Hit Close to Home

Sometimes you hear a story and realize you’ve been carrying something similar. If you’re in a season where you’re navigating big decisions, identity shifts, or just trying to figure out what you actually want, our coaches get it and would love to help you build a life that fits the season you’re in.

You can learn more about coaching by booking a call with Meredith or send us a DM on Instagram @getmomready.

Explore Coaching

Find Jess

• Jess Creatives Website

• The Ordinary Business Website

• Jess’ Instagram

• Jess’ Threads

Get Mom Ready is the community for driven moms living full lives and figuring out how all the pieces work together. Subscribe to get every episode and article delivered to your inbox.

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Summer has officially started in our house now and I’ve got all three kids home with me, I’m going to share what I’m preparing for, and what’s going to hopefully save our summer. I still have child-care on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I see clients, the rest of the week, I’ve got all the kids with me! First up is our pool bag. I packed this last week to put in the trunk as a “just in case” because in the past I’ve been left “high and dry” but actually “high and wet” with no bathing suits, no towels, no change of clothes, and soaking wet children from running through the splash pad on a 95 degree day. I digress.

So what are we packing? I’m going to influence but also de-influence you on a large LLBean tote. I got myself for my wedding 11 years ago, and I still use the same one. I put in towels, a bathing suit for each child AND myself, and then our bag of sunscreen, pool hair spray, a brush, and some bug spray. If you know me, then you know I’m quite the minimalist. I probably wont be the Mom with bandaids at the park, but I’ll be with someone that has them!!

This bag stays in the car unless we are using it, and once we do, I’ll bring it in the house to wash, dry and repack the bag. Then it goes right back in the trunk for the next time. I do this because I like to be spontaneous in the summer. I like to get a text that says, “Wanna come over and swim?” and be able to be on our way !! There are so many decisions I have to make throughout the year, so this helps to take some of these away. The day of, I always pack snacks and water and the diaper bag, because oh yeah, I’ve got a toddler again !!

Another thing that is being reset this week is our schedule.

We have a couple of weeks before we leave Texas for the summer and we desperately need a new routine. I’ve probably said it on the podcast before, but we are a “no screens during the week” family. I grew up like this, and this works for our family while kids are in school. We usually let them watch TV in the mornings on the weekends when Dave and I are reading, but now that there’s no school? They want to watch TV every morning. I also have early risers, like 5:30 early risers. Dave and I are also early risers, but we like to be without kids when we wake up to drink our coffee and read in peace. Ha! That doesn’t work when the whole house wakes up at 5:30. I’m trying to encourage our kids to sleep in, so I don’t want them to be excited to watch TV in the morning. we have implemented (starting today) that until 7:00am, it is quiet or reading time. You can be up, but you must choose a quiet activity. It could be reading or playing. Nora will play with her toys (not that quietly) but she bops around. It’s only day 1, So I’ll update you as the summer goes on. My hope is that it encourages them to sleep in! Or, at least let us have a quiet start to the day.

I will also keep a morning walk, because I need my sanity and movement. Nora and I usually walk in the mornings when the girls leave for school, so now, I will bring the girls along and they can scooter or bike. Some days we’ll head off to the gym and the girls can go to childcare while I work out and then we can all go to the pool unless we have other plans with friends. We’ll come home for Nora’s naptime, and then probably do another activity in the afternoon ! Thats what i’ve got so far and I think having a loose schedule will help us have guidelines but nothing set in stone. I’m not someone who likes a strict schedule but I do need a consistent rhythm.

What does everyone else’s summer look like? Is it pretty similar to the school year? or completely different? Ours looks completely different in the summer, and I’m excited for the change !

💔 The Last Time You’ll Feed Your Baby
A conversation about the weird, beautiful grief built into motherhood even in the sweetest moments. If you’ve ever realized “this is the last time” while actively being climbed on, this one’s for you.

😵‍💫 A Perfect Mom Would Not Be a Good Mom
Permission to stop chasing the imaginary mom who folds laundry calmly, meal preps organically, and never loses her patience. (She’s not real. We checked.)

🧠 Chronic Decision Fatigue: Why You’re Exhausted & How to Overcome It with productivity coach Jennifer Sise
Why deciding what’s for dinner feels like an Olympic event and practical ways to reduce the constant mental load of motherhood without becoming a robot productivity queen.

Listen while:
• hiding in your car
• folding tiny socks
• rage-cleaning your kitchen
• pretending you “just need to switch the laundry”

We’ll be back soon with fresh episodes and more conversations that make moms feel seen and a little more like themselves again.

Happy Memorial Day weekend!

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Okay…we thought this episode was going to be practical, like: “10 easy self-care tips for moms.”

Maybe a conversation about bubble baths. Maybe a Target run. Maybe one of us would say “drink more water” and we’d all nod in agreement…instead, we somehow ended up questioning the entire concept of self-care (because, of course we did). 🫣

Here’s why: somewhere along the way, self-care started feeling like another thing moms were supposed to optimize.

Another thing to buy, another thing to earn, another thing to perform, and a lot of the time, it still leaves us exhausted.

The MRI That Accidentally Became Self-Care

This episode starts with Anna getting an MRI on Mother’s Day weekend.

Which sounds stressful… except she somehow found it relaxing.

No phone, no interruptions, a warm blanket, and permission to lay still for 45 minutes…basically a spa day.

And while most people would describe an MRI as claustrophobic, Anna’s immediate thought was:

“Wow. Nobody can reach me.”

Which honestly says a lot about modern motherhood. That story became the jumping-off point for a bigger conversation:

What if self-care isn’t always about escaping your life, but about finding ways to feel more grounded inside your life?

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Maybe Real Self-Care Is More Proactive Than Reactive

One of the biggest themes from this conversation was this idea that self-care isn’t always the thing you do after you hit your breaking point. Sometimes it’s the tiny systems that help prevent the breaking point in the first place.

Like:

• organizing the makeup drawer that irritates you every morning

• finally dealing with the chaotic shoe basket by the front door

• prepping the coffee the night before

• creating rhythms that reduce mental friction (something we also talked about on an episode with Productivity Coach Jennifer Sise and her idea of “naming your time” - seriously, drop everything and go listen now.)

• cleaning the kitchen before bed so tomorrow-you feels calmer

Not because these things magically fix motherhood, but because little moments of frustration add up. And when every part of your day feels slightly harder than it needs to be, eventually your nervous system notices.

The Difference Between Dopamine and Restoration

We also talked about how easy it is to confuse:

• fun

• distraction

• treats

• shopping

• scrolling

• “I deserve this” energy…

with actual restoration.

To be clear: we are not anti-fun.

Nobody here is trying to take away your Target run or your TJ Maxx stroll or your iced coffee.

But we are asking a deeper question:

What actually helps me show up better for myself and for the people I love?

Because those aren’t always the same thing. Sometimes self-care is a massage. Sometimes it’s texting your girlfriends and putting dinner on the calendar before another month slips by. Sometimes it’s finally fixing the thing in your house that’s quietly stressing you out every single day.

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The Word We Kept Coming Back To: Reset

At one point in the episode, we realized maybe what we’re all actually looking for isn’t “self-care.”

It’s a reset.

A reset for:

• your nervous system

• your environment

• your expectations

• your mental load

• your attitude

• your capacity

Not necessarily escape. Just enough space to feel like yourself again.

A Few Practical Self-Care Tips We Shared

Yes, we did finally get into the practical. Here are some of the little things that genuinely help us feel more grounded lately:

• waking up before the kids for quiet coffee + reading time

• doing as much life as possible with other moms instead of alone

• keeping the kitchen reset at night

• creating tiny organization systems that reduce decision fatigue

• scheduling “me” tasks and kid tasks throughout the day to make sure everyone is happy instead of trying to do it all at once

• reading instead of endless scrolling

• making plans with girlfriends before burnout hits

None of these are revolutionary. But honestly? That’s kind of the point. We don’t need one more thing to do or buy, we just need to find stillness and joy in the day-to-day.

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Get Mom Ready Coaching

A lot of what we talked about in this episode comes back to something we believe deeply at Get Mom Ready:

Most moms don’t necessarily need more information. They need support creating lives that actually feel sustainable. Sometimes that looks like:

• processing identity shifts.

• reducing mental load.

• learning how to stop living in constant overstimulation, resentment, or survival mode.

• or having someone help you figure out what actually helps you feel more like yourself again.

That’s a huge part of what we do in coaching.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected from yourself, or like you’re constantly running on fumes, we’d love to talk with you.

You can learn more about coaching by booking a call with Meredith or send us a DM on Instagram @getmomready.

Explore Coaching

Maybe real self-care isn’t about constantly trying to escape motherhood. Maybe it’s about creating small rhythms, systems, and relationships that help motherhood feel a little softer to live inside of.

If this episode resonates with you, send it to a mom friend who’s tired of being told self-care is just buying another candle.

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